Chase This Light With Me
by Chase'sGirl19
Summary: The Sequel to Already Home! It's Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts! Harry wants to help Draco come back to the light, even if the Slytherin does not want too. Severus is trying all he can to keep his relationship with his son above water as they fight through darkness and secrets that will lead to ultimate betrayals. Meanwhile a friendship starts to form between Severus and Remus...
1. Chapter 1 You're Not Listening

**Chapter One – You're Not Listening**

" **Through a martyr's eyes I can see, I've seen the best of love, the best of hate, the best reward is earned and I've paid for every single word I ever said."**

 **(Chase This Light) Jimmy Eat World**

Summer was officially over and it was now the start of a new school year. The once quiet castle was now bursting with the sound and livelihood of its returning students. Severus Snape watched them file into the great hall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He forced himself to remain nonchalant and grumpy as best as he could, carefully trying to spot a certain Gryffindor with messy, black hair and green eyes behind round glasses.

When he couldn't find Harry, he forced himself to remain calm, telling himself to stop acting like an over bearing mother. Harry was probably still on his way to the castle with his annoying bunch of Gryffindor friends. What was it with Gryffindors and their desire to always be surrounded by a bunch of friends? It was nauseating indeed for Severus, who always preferred to be left alone with his Potions and books. Socializing daily with a group of people was too exhausting and a waste of time in his opinion. He only granted his company to a certain few.

He quickly glanced down the table. Albus was to his left at the center of the staff table who was followed by the heads of houses, Professors Flitwick and Sprout, and to Albus' right was McGonagall and Severus himself. Past Sprout and Flitwick, was Remus Lupin. He was in a deep conversation with Professor Vector.

Jealousy made his heart thud against his chest but he tried not to let that bother him, after all, Remus could talk to whomever he likes. It was not as if they were anything official. They only agreed to take things slow, to become friends and see where that goes. Severus was afraid of what this was turning into and the feelings he had that were developing for the werewolf. He knew Remus was also afraid, for they were both not used to such affection from another person. Remus had experienced it with Black long ago and had lost it. And as for Severus, he never had a chance with the girl he once loved.

He was so lost in his thoughts; he did not realize how long he was staring at the golden-haired werewolf, and suddenly hazel-green eyes met onyx black. He felt himself getting lost in those forest green depths and he wondered what it was about this man that made him feel like this. Remus smiled softly. Severus forced himself to look away, his face feeling a bit warm, for that soft smile reminded him of the night before. That kiss they shared, the words they spoken, and Remus' soft voice as he sang, luring Severus to his office…. The memory of last night was not forgotten and Severus had found a saved seat next to the werewolf during their staff meeting that very morning. Some of the staff looked questionably at them, a bit surprised to see them sitting together, for they expected Severus to be sour at the werewolf for taking the position he always wanted. Severus and Remus ignored the staff's murmurings and nosiness. They didn't speak to each other much, as not to raise suspicion, just being besides each other was more than enough.

Pulling himself back to the present, Severus forced his glare back to the students who were all mostly seated at their assigned tables by now. It wasn't until the large, heavy doors of the great hall closed, then Severus realized that his son had yet to arrive.

Leaning forward to Albus, he immediately caught the old wizard's eye who nodded. Unlike anyone else, Albus could see the state of worry Severus was in, for he carefully hid his emotions among his peers and students. He wasted no time in getting out of his seat and out of the great hall, his thoughts so lost in his worry for his missing son.

As he made his way out of the castle, the chatter from the great hall grew softer with each step away. Severus couldn't help but look back on the past summer with his newly adopted son. It seemed like an eternity when he found himself in Harry Potter's small bedroom all those months ago, hoping with annoyance, bitterness and hatred that James Potter's son was only throwing a tantrum to seek attention from Albus. What he found instead, Severus would never had dreamed of... He had found Harry… a boy as lost, afraid and abused as Severus was at that age. Harry was ready to give up, ready to die and leave this world full of hate and war and darkness as he had always known it to be but Severus showed him that besides the darkness, there was light. There was hope, love and family. He showed Harry that there was no reason to give up, to keep fighting and in each other, they both found a family.

The boy-who-lived was never who Severus thought him to be. He had learned the true person Harry was, making him realize how much he cared for the boy. Severus was so proud of his new son. They still had stuff to work out but they would figure it out within time. Despite of the time limit caused by the war, Severus still did not want to rush the boy. Those thoughts led to darker thoughts as he now stepped out of the castle, the chilly air signifying the official start of Fall. There will come a time when Harry will hate him, believing that Severus betrayed him, but it was all for the war, for the greater good.

It was the only chance Harry has to survive and Severus trusted in Albus that his plan will work, that the light side will win and Harry will understand in the end, even if Severus himself did not survive. It tore Severus up inside thinking about his promise to Albus. He hated himself for it, but he will have to fulfill the old wizard's wish.

A glowing bright light illuminated the darkness around him. Severus stopped walking, eyes fixed on the patronus heading his way. It was a large dog-like creature. Upon closer inspection, he realized it was a wolf. He wondered whose patronus this was since the only person he knew who owns a wolf patronus was sitting at the great hall in the opposite direction.

Severus waved his wand, ordering the patronus to deliver its message.

"Hagrid, this is Tonks, I have Harry. We are outside the Hogwarts's gates," the patronus spoke. Deep relief went through Severus for his son was safe, although, he still couldn't help but wonder at Tonks' interesting patronus.

Once he reached the entrance gates he could see his son taking off his invisibility cloak and standing outside the gates with Tonks.

 _Thank Merlin he's alright,_ Severus thought, remembering the raw fear he felt when his son was taken by Greyback.

"Your late, Potter," Severus growled, glaring at Nymphadora Tonks who was sporting golden blonde hair. He hadn't failed to notice that her patronus was a rather large dog. He hoped this had nothing to do with a certain werewolf.

"Sir, I …," Harry started, taken aback by Severus' tone.

"I don't want to hear it, Potter," Severus snapped as he opened up the gates. "Get inside!" His worry and fear was now turning into irritation at the boy's carelessness. Anything could've happened! Why couldn't Harry just stay out of trouble for once?

Harry glared at him with bright, green eyes as he stepped inside the gates, mumbling a goodbye to Tonks.

Severus completely ignored Tonks who was trying to make conversation with him as he shut the gates. He was starting to realize that the witch might be harboring a crush on Remus, and Severus was not liking it. He would have to warn the werewolf as soon as he got the chance.

They then made their way back to the castle. He could feel Harry studying him, trying to figure out if he was acting or really angry at him. Severus had to admit he was torn at being angry at the boy's foolishness of not being careful and concern for why he was late and sporting a broken nose.

The walk to the castle was tensed, tensed like when they first started living together in Severus' quarters. He glanced at Harry whose eyes were on the ground, blood still on his face.

"What happened?" Severus asked, his anger now slowly ebbing away.

Harry scowled, "so I guess you're done acting the evil Potions Professor?"

"Do not take that tone with me, Harry!" Severus snapped. At his son's glare, he forced himself to calm down, not wanting to start the beginning of this term with a bloody argument.

"I know I acted a bit brash back there with Tonks. You'll have to excuse me; I was overcome with worry for your wellbeing since you failed to show up on time to the feast with your annoying bunch of Gryffindor brats!"

"Don't insult my friends!" Harry scowled.

Severus glared at Harry, feeling an ugly argument starting to rise. For a brief moment, he wondered what happened to the sweet boy whom he called his son, before he dropped him off at the Burrow yesterday. Suppressing an impatient sigh, he tried to force his sharp words away. "We don't have time for this…now tell me what happened to cause your delay from the train!"

"It was Draco!" Harry said in exasperation.

That stopped Severus in his tracks. The blonde Slytherin had spent several weeks with them during the summer. Both he and Harry had fought a lot at the beginning, until Harry had spent several days at the hospital wing for slicing open his wrist. The boys both formed a truce which led to a close friendship. He knew Draco's departure was hard on both of them, especially since they were both on different sides of the war. He couldn't believe that Draco would hurt Harry physically, even if it was to cover himself from his Slytherin peers.

"What happened between you two on the train? I'm guessing you were fighting? It didn't take long for you to become enemies again, did it?" Severus sneered. He couldn't help being an asshole, it was in his blood and the worst of him always came out when he was stressed out or angry.

Harry didn't say anything, only glared at the castle in front of them. They continued walking in silence. Severus was about to give up on an answer until he heard Harry say, "we were fighting, dad, it was as if nothing ever happened, like we were never friends…."

Severus could hear the hurt in his son's voice and that was what freed him of his anger completely. He pulled the boy into a one armed hug, not saying anything else, their harsh words to each other momentarily forgotten. Once they reached the stone steps of the castle, Severus stopped walking.

"Hang on a moment, son," Severus said, taking out his wand.

Harry flinched and stepped back. Severus gave him a questioning look.

"There is no need to fear me, Harry, despite my sharp words, I still care for you very much. Let me heal your nose. I expect you must be in pain."

Harry looked at him then looked away, running his hand through his messy hair. It was something Severus soon learned was a habit he did when unsure or nervous, completely opposite of James Potter who mused up his hair in arrogance.

"Sometimes I just can't figure out if your acting or you really despise me," Harry said quietly as Severus lifted his chin. His heart broke at Harry's words and he wished for the millionth time that he could just take his son and go into hiding, let the rest of the world fight out the war for them.

Their eyes met and he wished Harry could see what he was feeling as he whispered, "Episkey."

Harry's nose snapped back into place, causing the boy to shout out in pain.

"I'm sorry, its better when you don't expect it," Severus said, he then muttered another spell to clean the blood off his face. Harry gingerly touched his nose.

"It's not crooked, is it?" Severus half-heartedly joked.

"Severus Snape attempting a joke?" Harry smiled. "The world must be ending."

"Ah well, I tried…," Severus said, "and as for earlier I am sorry. I know you don't like it when I act my old self towards you, but we will figure this out. Come down to my office tomorrow during your free period and we will talk about it."

Harry nodded.

"Now can you tell me what happened with Draco?"

"I followed him back to his compartment on the train, under my invisibility cloak."

Severus frowned, that was very foolish but he didn't say a word, letting Harry continue for he finally got the boy to speak.

"He's up to something, Severus! I told you yesterday I think Draco might have the dark mark! He was talking about not returning to Hogwarts next year, that his mum said he will have better and important things to do!"

Severus glared at him. "I thought I told you before to drop the notion of Draco being a Death Eater. It is none of your concern."

"It is when he is one of my best friends! Look, Sev, I know you don't want to believe it but I'm trying to tell you he is up to something, aren't you a bit suspicious? Have you told Professor Dumbledore yet?"

"Harry …," he said slowly, frowning at the blood stains on Harry's shirt. "Some friend Draco is to have given you a broken nose, even if he has to act like your enemy."

"He had to…," Harry shrugged.

Narrowing his eyes, Severus asked, "were his friends with him?"

"No, they left…," Harry said meekly.

"I know you still care for Draco and your worried about him falling into Lucius' footsteps, but Draco is no longer the boy you know. He is on the Dark Lord's side, trapped by his family and their expectations. Until this war is over, you must tread carefully around him. It is safer for Draco and for yourself."

"I know… but please trust me when I say that he is up to something, probably for Voldemort!"

"Don't say his name!" Severus snapped.

Harry ignored him and continued, "I bet my broomstick he has the dark mark! How can I not try to help him? I know he does not want this! If I could only get him alone, try to talk to him…."

Finally having enough, Severus snapped, "listen to me, child! If something is going on, and I say IF! I will be there to watch him and Albus knows everything going on in this castle, whatever Draco is up too, we will take care of it. Now stop worrying over this, and for Merlin's sake! Just stay away from him! It's obvious he doesn't want your help right now!"

Harry shot him a hurt look. "Why won't you listen to me?"

"I have listened! You're the one not listening to my orders!" Severus snapped out. Anger was already rising up in his chest. He forced himself to stop shouting. He forced himself to not insult the boy like he would have in the past. It would only make things worse.

"I don't want orders; I want your help!"

"I am helping! You don't think I like seeing my godson go down the same path I went down at that age?! I'm telling you to stay away from him right now! That is an order, Potter, and I don't want to hear any more about how you want to help him! Leave it to the adults!" Severus bit his tongue refusing to shout anymore. He didn't want to be angry at his son, he didn't want his son to be angry at him either. He wanted them to be okay but was not sure how to fix this growing rift between them. If only he could speak the truth and tell Harry that Draco was part of a bigger plan than he thought, but Severus couldn't…because of Albus…and he was just so tired of the secrets, lies and promises….

He reached out to touch Harry's shoulder, meaning to call a truce between them, but he stepped away and Severus was met by a hurt-filled and angry, bright, green glare.

"Harry…," Severus said softly, guilt clawing up his insides.

Harry stepped away. "Fine," he muttered.

Severus could only watch as his son turned away from him, opened the castle doors and took off to the great hall.

As he watched his son go, Severus sighed heavily, guilt and hurt prickling inside him.

 _Lily, why is your son so stubborn!_ he thought as he followed after Harry.

* * *

Remus broke off his conversation with Professor Vector as soon as Dumbledore prepared to start his speech. He noticed Harry slipping inside through the doors, his face full of annoyance as he made his way to the Gryffindor table. As the boy sat among his friends, Remus caught the scent of blood. Alarmed, he looked closely at his cub, until he could barely make out the dark blood stain on his shirt.

Severus then came storming in, walking at his usual brisk pace with his black robes billowing around him and with a menacing glare to any student that made eye contact with him. Once Severus sat down, Remus stole a glance at him, hoping whatever was bothering him wasn't too serious. He tried catching his eye but the Potions Master only had eyes for his plate. Remus glanced again at Harry to see his cub in a similar mood, he guessed they must had gotten into an argument.

Remus had to admit when he first found out that Harry was under Severus' care, he had his doubts. As time went on, he knew that Severus was a perfect guardian for his cub. Harry needed someone like Severus, a strong father figure who loved him for who he was. Remus felt bad to say that Sirius never saw Harry as just Harry but as a reincarnation of James.

Once Dumbledore was done with his speech (Remus receiving a loud applause from his former students for his Defense Against the Dark Arts post) everyone began to file out of the great hall. Remus meant to catch up to Harry to bid him a good night but he was lost in the crowd, so he decided to talk to him tomorrow.

He made his way out of the great hall and away from the crowd of students still congratulating him. He went through one of his usual short cuts to his quarters. The hallways in this side of the castle was quiet and dim. Remus still couldn't believe his luck that he was teaching at Hogwarts once more. Memories of the time he turned into a werewolf during Harry's third year and the angry letters he received from parents afterword was still fresh and he hoped that history wouldn't repeat itself. As he turned the last corner, he noticed a black figure leaning against the wall of his portrait door and all his worries drifted away as he realized who it was.

"Hello, Severus," Remus greeted warmly as he reached his portrait door. "I thought you were retiring to your quarters after the feast."

"I prefer your company this evening, that is if you don't mind?" he replied in his deep voice. Remus could see that whatever soured his mood tonight was still resting heavily on his mind.

"Of course, Severus," Remus said as he muttered the password. The portrait door swung open and he stepped inside. "Would you like some tea?"

Severus nodded, stepping in as well and looking around Remus' quarters.

"Please, sit…," Remus said over his shoulder as he placed the tea kettle over the burner in his kitchen.

Once he was back in the living room, he found Severus standing near the mantle looking at the few photographs Remus had of his family and friends. He picked one up of Remus holding a baby Harry. He stepped closer to Severus and chuckled at the memory. It was Harry's first Christmas and the five-month old baby could care less for the toys the Marauders had given him, only interested in the stuffed black dog Remus had given him that year. He could see the baby Harry in the photo hugging it close. Sirius couldn't believe that his godson hadn't taken any interest in his own godfather's awesome Christmas present.

"How old was Harry in this photograph?" Severus asked, his eyes on his young son.

"Almost five months… I think," Remus answered, looking up at Severus' face, noticing the deep lines of stress and worry. "It's hard for me to not see him as that young, happy baby that Lily carried everywhere with her…sometimes I can still see his innocence underneath all his burdens," Remus said, still observing the wizard standing before his mantle. He could see in Severus' demeanor how hopeless he was feeling right now, although he would never admit it. Harry must had been difficult tonight and Severus as a new father, must be feeling overwhelmed on how to care for his teenage son.

"I wish I you were given the chance to raise him after Lily...," Severus said, still lost in the photograph.

"I do too, every day I wish that so then he wouldn't have had to suffer…." Remus laid his hand on Severus' shoulder. "You're doing a great job. Without you, Harry would had been lost to us."

"I just feel like I'm not doing enough, like I'm messing him up more. No matter what I say to him, he pushes me away!"

"You're doing your best!"

Severus just shook his head in frustration. Remus wished he could see what was truly troubling the wizard. What was it that Severus couldn't say?

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Harry has grown up without anyone taking care of him. He still feels like he has to care for himself, it's going to take time for him to get used to the idea that now he has you…just give him time, Severus."

Severus only nodded once, eyes still on the photograph.

"I noticed Harry arriving to the feast late…," Remus said, changing the subject a bit since Severus wasn't relenting on what he was hiding.

The Potions Master placed the frame back on the mantle before turning to sit down on the sofa. Remus sat down next to him waiting for him to reply.

"He got into a fight with Draco who gave him a broken nose."

Remus' frown of disapproval and concern went unnoticed.

"Don't worry, I healed it," Severus said.

Remus nodded. "That explains the blood I smelt on him."

Severus gave him a wide-eyed look of surprise. "You could smell it from where you were sitting?"

Remus nodded, suddenly feeling like that wasn't something he should've said. He forgot sometimes that he wasn't fully human. Thinking of himself as not human led to darker memories of the past couple of months. Where Remus' world was only of a dark stinking cellar and so much pain, the stench of blood and waste and sickness. The smell of burning skin and a fiery pain on his chest, above his heart. The howls of the werewolves and blood red eyes. The convincing, oily voice telling him over and over he was nothing but a filthy animal who betrayed its pack…and the death of a young girl. He forced himself to breathe normally, forced himself to stay in the present. He didn't want to lose it in front of Severus. Speaking of the Potions Professor…, Remus realized Severus was still talking. He forced himself to calm down and breathe before listening once more.

"…he seems to think Draco has become a Death Eater."

Remus couldn't keep the shock out of his words. "Do you think Harry might be on to something?"

"I believe so, no doubt its Lucius' punishment for his mishap at the Ministry. Albus and I are keeping a close eye on the situation. I tried steering Harry away from it but he is stubborn like his mother. He wants to talk to Draco, maybe try to help him come to our side, but what he doesn't understand is that Draco is in too deep. If Draco is to come to our side, it will be with careful planning on mine and Albus' part, not on some mediocre plan from a bunch of teenagers."

"You got to have at least some faith in him," Remus said, feeling as though Severus wasn't giving Harry enough credit.

Severus shook his head, not listening to a word Remus just said. "He can really be a stubborn brat sometimes! I bet you my best cauldron he bloody hates me now!"

"Severus…," Remus frowned.

Severus' gaze landed back on the photograph on the mantel. "I know Harry has the best intentions. I know that whatever plan he comes up with to help Draco might have potential...but for once, I just wish he can leave these problems for me and Albus to solve. I don't want him to feel responsible for anyone but himself. I want him to be the child he never got the chance to be. I know he feels like I'm not listening, I know I'm not giving him enough credit but I just want what is best for him. I want him to be safe and going after Lucius Malfoy's son is not what you call a walk in the park. It's bad enough Harry already has to worry about the Dark Lord, but to be responsible for Draco Malfoy's betrayal to the dark side…, I just can't let him fall into that…."

"You're doing the best you can, Severus, I know you are. You have to talk to Harry, tell him what you just told me, let him know that you are listening, that you don't want him in danger." Remus hoped his advice was right.

After a few moments, Severus finally tore his gaze away from the mantel and looked at Remus. He could see the stress and worry in the Potions Master's black eyes. He was touched that Severus Snape, who hid behind his mask, had decided to let Remus see a bit of the person he truly was. Remus can still remember a time where not even he could make out who Severus was underneath that mask, but as their friendship began to form, pieces were breaking each day. There will come a time where Severus' mask would be completely broken, there will come a time where Severus would tell him everything that was eating away at him inside, but for now, Remus accepted the pieces Severus was showing him. He knew one day the mask would be gone and there would only be Severus.

So lost in his thoughts, Remus didn't realize how long he was staring at him. He found himself swimming in black, ebony eyes, surprised that they were not cold, dark tunnels but comforting and warm like a summers night sky.

The sound of the tea kettle rang through Remus' quarters, causing them to both look away. Remus smiled and got up to serve the tea.

Once the evening began to grow into night and after two cups of tea, did Severus finally get up to return to his quarters. Remus walked him to the door and looked up to see a scowling Severus who said, "did you know Tonks has a crush on you?"

Remus chuckled, "I did not, what makes you say that?"

"She was the one who dropped Harry off at the school gates." Severus gently tugged a lock of Remus' hair. It made his heart leap out of his chest and he forced himself not to blush like an idiot.

"Her hair was an interesting shade of color today and her patronus has changed to a wolf form…peculiar…, yes?"

Remus laughed out loud, "that doesn't mean she might have a crush on me! There are loads of men with hair color as mine with wolf patronuses!"

Severus shrugged, "just be careful with the witch, I still remember her as my student several years ago, she was a walking disaster!"

Remus chuckled, "am I sensing jealousy from you, Severus?"

"Severus Snape, jealous of that clumsy witch? I shall think not!" The Potions Master snarled in disgust.

Remus chuckled again, "well you have me fooled," he said, gently laying his hand on Severus' arm. "Goodnight, my friend," he said.

"Goodnight, wolf, I wish you luck on your first day back tomorrow."

Remus smiled at Severus who then turned around and opened the portrait door. He watched the professor walk down the hallway with black robes billowing around him, until he was one with the darkness of the hallways. Remus sighed and closed the portrait door behind him, hoping that Severus' words of luck was not needed and all of his lessons will go as well as he hoped.

 **A/N: First of all, thank you for all the new reviews! I truly love it when Already Home still gets reviews and favorites. I'm so happy to start writing about Harry, Severus and Moony again!=D I hope you guys are ready for the sequel! It's going to be canon and slightly AU to fit my story. Most of it is going to be in Severus' pov also Remus'. You will see a little bit of Harry …. I guess we will just see where this story takes us, yes? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my first chapter, I wanted to keep it short, simple and a bit of a summary of Already Home. So please don't be mad lol.**

 **I am also sorry I took so long to start this new story, so many changes happened during the summer that I sort of lost focus on writing. I had started working at the Wizarding World of HP at Universal Studios Hollywood and school started once more…I'm still trying to pass math! And my teacher is mean! Anyway enough about me! lol I'm just so excited to be writing again and excuse my bad grammar as usual. So, please Review!**

 **-Chase'sGirl19**


	2. Chapter 2 I Don't Trust You

**Chapter Two – I Don't Trust You**

 **A/N: mamacasper06: I hope this answers your question? I'm not abandoning this story. =)**

Darkness surrounded him. It was the kind of darkness where he couldn't see anything, not even a beetle flying past his nose. It made his fur stand on end. The wolf bared his teeth. It was so dark, he had no idea if his eyes were open or closed. He raised up his nose, taking in the scents but all he could smell was fear. The scent overwhelmed him. It seeped into his skin, clung on to his fur. It was all he could sense, all he could feel. It rooted him to the ground. With his legs shaking and his tail between his legs, the wolf whined. He never felt such fear. He never gave into fear. He was what prey feared. He did not know what to do with this new emotion. His body shook, ears flat against his head and he let out another soft whine, hoping someone would hear him and pull him out of this strange darkness.

"Don't be afraid, little wolfie," a voice whispered in his ear.

The wolf turned his head trying to find the source of the voice. It was too dark to see anything, too dark to feel anything.

"Just open your eyes…. I promise it will only hurt a little."

The wolf whined again, his body shaking harder. Cold fear traveled through his body. This voice promised pain. He didn't want to feel pain anymore, did not want to hurt or feel. He was tired of this cruel existence, a never-ending cycle of pain and fear. He wanted peace….but something as pure and simple and innocent as that was not deserved. This voice only gave him the opposite, made him believe that darkness, fear and pain was what a wretched creature like him should only expect.

The wolf stood there for hours, trembling, braced for pain. Braced for the cruel voice to make him believe how wretched a creature he was. And then something in him made him open his eyes and look up. He had no idea what compelled him to do it, to raise his head out of the darkness, to embrace the fear as if someone else was with him, whispering words of love and encouragement. He could feel soft hands petting him through his fur and when he opened his amber eyes he saw something that almost made him cry out in longing and pain. A white twinkling star. He couldn't remember it's given name, only that it was known as the dog star. It was twinkling brightly, giving him a path of light. The wolf could see it was in the frame of a small window above his head and right next to it was the glowing white full moon. Its power radiating and calling him, promising the call of the wild to him. Howls echoed in his head, bringing forth an instinct to run and chase and hunt. The howls of his pack began to wash away his fear. This had once meant something to him, but he couldn't remember why. The memory would not come to him, for it was lost in the trundles of darkness that wove around every inch of his body, seeping into his heart, taking hold of him….

"About time you stop dreaming," the voice growled again in his ear and with that the light vanished. The darkness engulfed the wolf. He turned his head and his amber eyes connected to icy-blue eyes that had a red tinge to them.

He looked directly at those cold eyes, unable to look away. Fear like he had never known swept through him once more.

"You killed me," she whispered. "Your nothing but a monster. You killed me! You killed children! You killed ME! You promised! You need to be punished!" she hissed, her blue eyes still connected to his own.

 _It was an accident!_ he thought. He tried to say those words but they wouldn't come out. They were stuck in his throat. All that came out was a whimper, followed by a low whine. Shame washed over him.

"You Killed Me!" the voice hissed again and this time the light of the moon shone on the owner of the icy-blue eyes and cold voice. And he could see the pale face of a young girl with auburn hair.

"You promised, Remus, you promised to take me with you!"

 _No!_ The wolf tried to run but his paws were glued to the ground. Blood began to drip onto her face. Her blue eyes growing pale until he could barely see her irises.

He struggled some more, fought with everything he had and then out of the terrifying darkness, came a name that made his heart constrict in pain. Made his chest feel so heavy and tight he could hardly hold himself up. The darkness released its trundles on him and gave him a memory of a young girl. The memory flashed through his mind, quick and painful. A vibrant young girl, full of determination, young, innocent, brave and suffering. The scent of blood and death, screams full of fear changing into the howls of a young she-wolf's.

And he knew she was right.

He did not deserve anything but punishment, because what he did was the worst thing he could have ever done. He was responsible for her death. He killed her and he could barely remember her name! The wolf bowed his head in submission and regret, waiting for his deserved punishment.

"I'm sorry...," he finally managed to say. "Kaylie…I'm…."

Suddenly there was a loud howl. The wolf closed his eyes tight, tightening his muscles to brace whatever was coming. The trundles began to release him and slither back into its shadows. The girl growled and faded away.

 _Wake up!_

The wolf snapped opened his eyes.

Remus found himself drenched in sweat. His blankets and sheets were twisted around him. He could barely make out his room in the grey morning. Fear and guilt made his beating heart ache. He wondered if it was possible to start taking dreamless sleep potions. He couldn't go on like this. The nightmares were growing worse each night and he was losing sleep. Anxiety began to fill his entire body and he couldn't stop shaking. That girl was still in his mind and even though in the dream he could barely remember her name, he remembered it clearly now. The name left a bitter taste in his mouth.

 _She's right…._

It was his fault she lost her life. He killed her. Remus did not deserve to live while that young girl was buried underneath the ground. He felt like the monster she claimed him to be. He had promised her and he failed her. He failed Jonathan Porter. He hated feeling so low of himself but how could he not? When every night he relived his darkest memories.

Every night he was reminded of Greyback and of Kaylie's death. It was hard to forget, especially when the brand of what he is was burned into his skin forever. How could he move on? How could he forget and live and be happy? And he was falling, falling so far down that Remus was sure no one would be able to pull him back up.

He closed his eyes and stayed in bed for a few moments more, trying to find the will to get out of bed, for he had to start the day. How could he teach his students? Knowing deep inside, he was a monster, that he killed children their age? What would they think of him if they knew? Remus snuggled deeper into his blankets, trying to push all the anxiety and pain away. He had to stop thinking like that, he had to, for his students and for Harry. They were all counting on him. So he forced himself out of bed and into the shower.

* * *

An hour or so later, Remus found himself at the Great Hall for breakfast, nursing a cup of strong hot tea to take his anxiety away. He was still feeling sleep deprived and a bit depressed from his nightmare. So lost in his thoughts, he did not notice Severus' arrival until the dark wizard sat next to him and poured himself a cup of black coffee.

"Is it wise to sit so close to me in front of your Slytherins?" Remus asked, still looking down at his tea, keeping his eyes averted. He didn't want Severus to see the bags under his eyes or the haunted look in them. He didn't want the Potions Master to worry about him.

"Let them see. We are merely two professors of this school sitting alongside each other during breakfast and discussing lesson plans and nasty term papers."

Remus took another sip of his tea, not feeling up to chuckle at Severus' small and rare joke.

Severus waited for a reaction and when Remus didn't say anything more, he began to pile some eggs on his plate. "You look like you've had better mornings, Lupin."

Remus shook his head, thankfully catching sight of Harry arriving to the Great Hall. The boy looked like he was in a foul mood with his two friends Ron and Hermione arguing on each side of him. That reminded Remus how Sirius and James used to argue with him in the middle.

"Harry doesn't seem happy…," he commented, hoping his observation would distract Severus from any further questions.

Severus scowled, glancing at his adopted son before drinking his coffee. "He better change that attitude. I will not have him acting like a brat in my class today."

"You cannot let this argument come between you and Harry, Severus. You should talk to him."

"And what do you suggest?" Severus slammed down his mug in irritation. "I tried talking to him. He is so stubborn! Just like his mother! I used to believe that child was completely like his father, I was wrong! Sometimes he acts like carbon copy of Lily Evans!"

"And isn't that a good thing? You grew up with Lily, you knew her way before I or my friends did. You're used to her stubbornness. I'm certain you can handle her son's stubbornness as well."

"It's much more complicated than that, Remus, I know I compare Harry a lot to his parents. He may seem exactly like his mother but he is his own person. If it were Lily in this situation, she might had listen to me, unlike Harry…. I know he can't trust adults. He can't trust Dumbledore to handle this situation."

"Still try to talk to him, Severus, Harry needs to know if he can't trust Dumbledore then he can trust you."

Severus nodded, "That's the problem. He says he does, but deep down…," Severus trailed off. He downed his coffee and said in a harsher tone, "if he really trusted me then he wouldn't be so angry at me right now!" Severus stood up. "I have to leave, I have potions that are simmering."

Remus only nodded. He wasn't in the mood to make Severus stay to talk some more. He was glad the Potions master was leaving in fact. Remus really just wanted to be left alone to get his thoughts together before class.

He sipped his tea, noticing Severus still lingering, looking at him.

"Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do, Remus...," he whispered.

Remus blushed, knowing what Severus meant behind those words.

"You look really tired," Severus murmured so softly that only a person with werewolf hearing can pick up.

Remus averted his eyes away. He wanted to open up to Severus. He really liked him, there was just something about him that attracted Remus to him. He could see their future together. A future where the war was over, he and Severus together, perhaps in love and living somewhere in the country side with Harry, but how could he do that? How could he open up to someone, fall in love with someone, when Remus could barely look at himself?

"Remus…?"

Remus kept his eyes on his now cold tea. He couldn't look at Severus and lie to him, he couldn't pretend. Maybe it was better that they didn't start this.

"Have tea with me tonight?"

He wanted to say no, he must. He could not start anything anymore with Severus when he was lost like this. It was unfair of him to do that. He would end up hurting Severus. His heart wanted to say yes, to forget everything and say yes! Under Severus' intense stare, the warmth he felt from them, he couldn't help but nod once. He could feel Severus studying him, wondering what was going on in Remus' head. Remus blushed under those black eyes. Severus was holding back, he could sense it... the Potions Professor didn't dare say anything else... it was too risky in the Great Hall. Too many eyes watching, waiting to report to their parents. Remus wanted so bad to open up, he wanted to continue feeling that warmth from Severus but he couldn't. He was so lost and then Severus' warmth faded away. Remus watched him walk along the Slytherin table, black robes billowing around him, giving him an almost bat-like appearance. Remus drank the rest of his tea, forgetting that the warmth of it faded away before he departed the Great Hall himself to prepare for his first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson.

* * *

Harry's day could not have started off any worse than it already had! He was beyond hurt and upset that Ron and Hermione did not believe him about Draco. They did not seem to care that Draco might be up to something, some task for Voldemort, possibly? What if Voldemort did have his clutches on the Slytherin, pulling him deeper into the dark arts? They might think it's what Draco wanted anyway and it wasn't surprising to them that that was where Draco's future lay. But Harry knew better, he knew Draco.

Draco did not want to be a Death Eater! Draco wanted to play Quidditch professionally after Hogwarts or become a healer. He wants nothing to do with the dark arts. It was bad enough that Severus, his own adoptive father wouldn't even listen to Harry or even help him! Draco is Severus' godson for Merlin's sake! And Harry's best friends wouldn't even listen!

He thought they got over their prejudices and anger towards Draco, yeah, he knew the Slytherin had been shitty to them in the past, but he changed, he wasn't like that anymore. It was all a mask he had on. It was never the real Draco. Harry knew the real Draco deep down inside, hiding behind that prickly interior of a mask. He was just a kid like Harry, screaming for help, surrounded by people who didn't understand. It was something Harry had gone through himself after Sirius died, and if it wasn't for Severus to pull him out, Harry had no idea what would've happened to him at the Dursleys.

And speaking of Severus, Harry was still mad at him. The Potions Professor refused to listen to him, treating him like a child! It was so frustrating. He felt so alone and he dreaded the evening when the time came for the talk Severus promised him.

"Harry?"

Harry turned his head to the voice calling his name, his mind still cloudy with his thoughts.

"Isn't it risky to have Lupin come back to Hogwarts?" Hermione huffed in annoyance.

Harry looked at Ron. _What is she on about this time?_ he thought as Ron caught his eye and rolled his eyes.

"I'm just saying, everyone, parents, the Ministry, school board officials, all know that Remus is a werewolf. I wonder how Dumbledore was able to pull this off. Any little complaint against Remus and the school board can make Dumbledore fire him. Anything could go wrong."

"Ahhh, Hermione, you worry too much. I'm sure Dumbledore has gotten everything taken care of. He won't let Lupin get chucked out of Hogwarts!" Ron said.

"Yes, but you're not seeing the bigger picture here, Ronald!" Hermione stepped in front of them, so they were both forced to stop in their tracks. "Professor Dumbledore might be able to handle the angry responses from parents, but it won't stop them from pulling their kids out of school. He doesn't have full power over Hogwarts. If the parents and school board want him out, then he is out! Werewolves are not taken lightly. It's only a matter of time before someone starts to say something about Remus being too close to teenagers. And especially after what happened to him this summer, he is still in danger from Death Eaters, werewolves and You-Know-Who. He needs to lay low, the Prophet is no doubt going to be all over this as soon as word gets out that Remus is teaching again. Professor Dumbledore won't be able to protect him from that, and one more thing!" she said, stopping Ron from interrupting her during her tirade.

"Think about it, guys, Remus has the Dark Arts post again. Last I heard, that teaching post is still curse, which means…."

"He'll only be here for one year…," Harry realized, it dawned on him that something terrible was going to happen at the end of the year to make Remus leave, just like in his third year and his heart felt heavy at the thought. Remus belonged here. Teaching was his element and it wasn't fair that Remus might be out of a job at the end of the school year because of this bloody curse.

"I would bet on anything that something is going to happen to make Remus leave again," Harry finished, finally understanding why Hermione was so worried. He looked at Ron who realized it too. His ears were red with worry for their favorite teacher.

"Blimey, Harry," Ron said. "Lupin has taken the post before. He's the only one who has come back…, maybe, he broke the curse? I mean no one's ever come back."

Harry shook his head feeling worried and helpless. He knew nothing he could say to Dumbledore or Severus or even Remus to have him resign. It wouldn't change anything and there was no going back they just had to watch out for their favorite teacher and make sure he didn't fall victim to the curse again.

* * *

Defense Against the Dark Arts was always Harry's favorite class and a DADA lesson with Remus Lupin as the professor was beyond extraordinary. Remus was a natural teacher. A teacher who loved his subject and cared deeply for his students. He definitely forgotten how fun Remus' classes were.

Remus ended the lesson and the three Gryffindors, along with their classmates, were packing up their things, getting ready to go to their next lesson of the day. For Harry, Ron and Hermione, it was Potions. Harry's stomach was a jumble of nerves. Severus was acting so much like his old self last night. Would he regain the role during class again? Harry couldn't stand Severus acting like that again to him as if nothing ever happened. He knew it was supposed to be an act but he didn't think he could do it. It was just so real, it brought back past emotions.

"Harry, may I speak with you for a moment?"

Harry looked up to see Remus standing in front of his desk.

"Um…, sure, Professor, will it take long? I have Potions class to get to."

"It won't take long. I certainly won't make you late to Severus' first Potions class of the school term." The werewolf gave him a small smile, a mischievous gleam in his green eyes that Harry hadn't seen since Sirius died.

"Yeah, you wouldn't want to be the subject of his murderous glare," Harry mocked.

"No, I wouldn't fancy that," Remus chuckled. "I just wanted to ask you if you were okay. I've noticed you haven't been in the best of moods lately."

Harry shrugged, not liking where this conversation was going.

"Everything is fine," he mumbled.

He didn't want to talk about his argument with Severus last night. It hurt too much to think that Severus couldn't listen to him and treating him like a child. It was unfair! He so much wanted to help Draco. Then he realized, if Severus wouldn't listen, then maybe Remus will. He decided to ask the werewolf, hope filling his chest at the thought of Remus helping him. That would really make this day better.

He looked up at the werewolf, who waited patiently for Harry to confide in him.

"It's Draco..., Severus won't listen to me. I think he is in danger. I think Voldemort might have recruited him as a Death Eater. I told Severus that we must help him get away from Voldemort and his family, but Severus wants to just leave things to Dumbledore. I don't trust Dumbledore is going to do anything. Draco needs help right now! I can see it in Draco, he is stressed and miserable, he is falling hard and he needs our help! And Severus won't listen!"

Remus frowned, deep in thought as he considered Harry's words. He suddenly looked older than his years, his hair with greying stands and dark circles under his eyes. Harry noticed how his robes hung on his shoulders. And he realized how tired the werewolf looked, instantly feeling bad for burdening Remus with his worries for Draco. Maybe he was wrong to think Remus could help him with Draco.

"Harry…," Remus sighed and Harry knew exactly what his answer was going to be! He's noticed how close Remus and Severus had gotten! Severus had already talked to Remus about this and won the werewolf's side! _That bastard!_

"You're on his side! Are you?!" Harry shouted, stepping away in disgust, anger and betrayal.

"No, Harry, I'm taking no one's side! Listen, I understand why you might suspect Draco is a Death Eater, this a delicate situation. You must leave this to Dumbledore. I'm sure Severus has not taken your words as lightly as you think. You must trust them!"

 _Trust them? As in trusting adults? Like how I was supposed to trust the Dursleys? No way!_ Harry thought in disgust. _This is bloody ridiculous! Does anyone in this school even care?!_

"We can't just let him suffer!" Harry shouted, he was beyond frustrated. Thankfully they were alone in the classroom. "He is trapped with them!"

"Severus is watching Draco, there is no need to act dramatically, Harry. Severus is doing the best he can and so is Dumbledore. Trust them! I won't say it again!" Remus growled, his eyes flashing.

Harry scowled in disgust. "I don't know why I even bothered!" He threw his back-pack over his shoulder.

"Harry!"

Harry ignored Remus and stormed out of the classroom, anger filling his chest. Why wouldn't anyone listen? He had no one else to confide too…but fine…if they weren't going to listen, then Harry would have to find Draco himself and talk to him. He wasn't going to let Draco go until he forced the truth out of him. Even though they had to pretend to be enemies, it didn't mean they really were. Draco was still his friend, even if he did break his nose unnecessarily on the train yesterday. They were still best friends and Harry wasn't going let Draco fall into darkness!

* * *

It wasn't until Potions class did Harry finally find Draco. The blonde Slytherin looked pale and stressed, with dark bags under his eyes. That was all the proof Harry needed that something was indeed wrong.

He decided to try and get him alone after class. It wasn't wise to try and talk to Draco with Severus breathing down his neck, so he opened his Potions book and began to follow the instructions on how to brew the Draught of Living Death.

It was then that he noticed the cramped writing in the margins. Some of the book's instructions were crossed out and advice was given instead on how to brew. Harry wondered what student might had done this to his book, then instantly remembered why his newly bought textbook had writing all over it. This was not his textbook, this was the Potions book he found in Severus' classroom and took it because he wanted to find out who the Half-Blood Prince was. He hadn't meant to take this book to class with him. He must had grabbed it instead of his own by accident in his haste to talk to Ron and Hermione about Draco.

Harry studied the instructions once more, wondering if he should just follow the book's or the owner of the crammed and spiky handwriting that looked oddly familiar, yet couldn't remember why.

Deciding it couldn't hurt to follow the mysterious writing, since have the book's instructions were unreadable anyway, Harry began to follow the written instructions, praying his potion will turn out okay and not explode.

The potion turned out to be very difficult, Hermione was having a hard time, her hair getting frizzier each minute. Ron's potion was a dark, murky color as he stirred, trying to make it right. Harry looked around to see Draco working on his potions with Severus suggesting advice to him. The Potions Master looked up and caught Harry's eye, before making his way towards him. Harry swiftly pushed Ron's book on top of his own, hiding the Half-Blood Prince's book. He was sure Severus wouldn't approve of it.

"That vile liquid you call a potion is unsalvageable, Weasley!" The professor waved his wand over Ron's cauldron, emptying it of its failed contents. Ron's ears grew red as he held in all his insults at the Potions Master. Ernie Macmillan's potion looked way worse than Ron's! Severus glanced at Hermione's potion and smirked at the dark color. Harry scowled, he hated when his adopted dad treated his friends like crap!

Harry braced himself as Severus studied his potion, observing the color that was turning a pale lilac shade. He didn't look at Harry as he muttered, "see me after class," and moved on to the next one.

Harry let out a deep breath, still feeling Severus' suspicious glare at the back of his neck as he continued stirring and Hermione's own suspicious look. Of course, she has noticed Harry's potion coming out remarkably well and the fact that he hid his textbook from Severus.

Tired of Hermione's glare, he finished up his potion and said, "yes, Hermione?"

"How did you get your potion that color? How are you doing it? Professor Snape didn't even criticize you!"

"I don't…I guess I just got lucky," he shrugged.

"I don't believe that! Let me see your book," she whispered furiously, adding a few more ingredients and stirring carefully, trying in vain to get her potion the same shade as Harry's.

The bell rang. Harry was relieved. Making sure no one was watching, he shrunk the Half-Blood Prince's book and hid it in his bag. "Ron, can I borrow your potions book?"

"Sure, mate," Ron shrugged, not really paying attention as he cursed out Severus to Hermione and Ernie Macmillan.

He could still feel Hermione seething with anger as he made his way to Severus' desk as the rest of the students filed out of the classroom. Whatever Severus wanted, this better be quick. He hoped to catch up to Draco after class and talk to him.

"Those extra lessons during the summer helped wonders, I see. Your skills have improved immensely," Severus said as he examined the phials of the students' potions. Harry's was the only one that had the pale lilac color.

Is that all you wanted to say?" Harry asked, he really had to go.

Severus put the phial down, his eyes traveling briefly to Ron's textbook Harry was holding in his hand.

"Despite of our argument yesterday, I just wanted to say that I'm here if you need anything. Just because we argue doesn't mean I don't love you any less."

Harry nodded.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Harry looked at him, wondering if he knew about the Half-Blood Prince's book. He wondered if he should tell him about it, maybe Severus could help him find out who it is, but something in him told him that maybe it wasn't a good idea. He didn't know why but he wanted to keep the Half-Blood Prince a secret for now.

"Answer me, child."

"No sir, I have nothing to say," he said.

Severus considered Harry for a moment, before saying, "I want to remind you to come to our quarters tonight after dinner. We must discuss what happened last night."

"Yes, sir," Harry replied, only so that Severus can dismiss him so he could find Draco. He didn't really want to hear what Severus had to say at the moment. He was still angry at him and hurt that Severus wouldn't help him with Draco or even listen.

"If you have nothing to say, then your dismissed," Severus said, his attention going back to the phials of failed potions.

Harry left the dungeons before Severus could call him back.

Since Potions was the last lesson for the day, instead of going back to Gryffindor tower, Harry hid in a small alcove near the Slytherin dungeon, waiting for Draco to appear. As he waited, he examined the Half-Blood Prince's Advanced Potion-Making book. The handwriting itself was strange, yet familiar. He flipped it to the front cover page and in the small cramped handwriting, it read property of the Half-Blood Prince.

 _Who is the Half-Blood Prince? Couldn't it be anyone I might know?_

The writing was just so familiar. He wracked his brain, trying to remember where he seen it.

It wasn't long until Harry heard Draco's voice. He quickly put the book away and peeked out of the alcove, catching a glimpse of Draco walking down the hall with his usual group of Slytherins by his side.

Damn! He didn't think that Draco might not be alone! He didn't plan on how to get his attention and he watched with disappointment as Draco disappeared behind the portrait. He thought about waiting some more, but realized that could take hours before Draco comes out for dinner and he would still be with his group of friends. He would have to find another way to catch him alone, so with a heavy heart full of disappointment, Harry made his way back to Gryffindor tower.

* * *

The evening before dinner was spent doing homework. Harry couldn't understand how he got a pile of homework on their first day and was trying not to get distracted by Ginny who was doing her own homework a few tables away with a group of fifth years.

"Harry, I have a note for you!" Harry looked up to see Jack Sloper coming towards him handing him a roll of parchment.

Curious, Harry took it and when Sloper left, he opened the note to see slant hand writing that was no other than Dumbledore's, telling him to come to his office on Saturday at 8:00pm and that he enjoys acid pops. Harry wondered what this was about and wondered if Severus knew anything about it, then he remembered he was still angry at him.

"Dumbledore wants me to see him on Saturday at eight," Harry said to Ron and Hermione, and they discussed what it could be about until it was time for dinner.

* * *

After dinner, Harry found himself walking to Severus' quarters, wishing he was at Gryffindor tower. He really did not want to have this conversation with his adopted dad. What was said was said and no talk was going to change it. Severus already made it clear that he was leaving the Draco problem up to Dumbledore. Harry decided on Saturday he was going to ask Dumbledore what his plans were for helping Draco. He was not going to let his friend become a Death Eater.

Once he got there, Harry knocked on the portrait door, mentally bracing himself and trying to calm his nervous stomach.

The portrait door opened and Harry stepped inside to see Severus brewing some hot tea in the kitchen. Seeing that brought Harry back to the summer, where everything was easy and okay between them before this one argument tore them apart again. He hated fighting with Severus. He missed his dad. He so much wanted to tell him about his first day at Hogwarts, about his mysterious Potions book, his argument with Remus and how he's worried about the DADA curse. He wanted to tell him everything, but the hurt in him kept him from doing just that. It left him cold, angry and closed up as he stood in the living room, waiting for Severus to invite him to sit down.

"You can make yourself comfortable, Harry, this is still your home no matter how angry you are with me."

Harry rolled his eyes and sat at his favorite spot on the sofa.

The Potions Master handed him a hot cup of steaming tea before sitting down at his armchair.

"Before we get into things, do you want to tell me how your first day went?"

Harry shook his head, still sulking about last night's argument. He wasn't going to pretend like nothing happened, like they weren't in the middle of an argument.

"Harry…."

"I have nothing to say to you!" he said, feeling beyond irritated, it made him say things he didn't mean. He didn't want to be rude, but Severus just didn't understand!

"Stop being disrespectful!" Severus snapped.

Harry glared at the Potions Master, "fine! I'll keep my mouth shut!"

Severus ran a hand through his hair, looking as if he was trying hard to be patient. "Bloody teenager," he muttered as he drank some of his tea.

"Look, Harry, I don't want to argue with you anymore. I want you to understand that I have taken your accusations of Draco being a Death Eater into account. Professor Dumbledore has me watching him. I will let you know if anything happens to him."

"So, you're just going to watch him?" Harry said. "Let him be a sitting duck for Voldemort and his Death Eaters? We have to talk to him!"

"No, we cannot. We must not let him know what you are accusing him of. Dumbledore has a plan and you must trust him and if not trust me!"

Harry didn't say anything. That was where the problem was. He couldn't trust adults yet. He couldn't fully trust Severus as much as he wanted too…not with this, not with something this important, not when Draco's life was on the line.

"I can't trust you…," Harry whispered before he could stop himself.

It was quiet, so quiet Harry couldn't stand it. He kept his gaze on his shoes, ashamed to look at Severus. He didn't mean for the words to come out. They just did and they were heard, and now, Severus was most likely hurt by them.

"I understand your anger. I know your worried for Draco, I understand why you cannot fully trust me right now…."

Harry shook his head, "I'm sorry, professor, I don't want to fight anymore," he said feeling bad for what he said, and how disrespectful he been acting towards Severus.

Severus got off the armchair and knelt down in front of Harry.

"Look at me, child."

Harry shook his head, he was feeling so overwhelmed full of negative emotions and he wanted so much to turn to Severus and confide in him, but he couldn't. He was afraid. He couldn't fully trust him still, even after everything they been through this summer. It was something that he will always struggle with thanks to his aunt and uncle who raised him with fear and pain.

"I will handle this situation with Draco."

"But why did you treat me like a child last night? You wouldn't listen to me!"

Severus shrugged, "I just … I apologize. My excuse is that I'm tired of seeing you hurt, seeing you get in these unnecessary, dangerous situations. I wanted to protect you. I want you to stay a child a little longer. That is why I brushed you away last night and I deeply apologize. I hope you learn to trust me one day. Remember everything that I say or do is in your best interest, even if it seems like it isn't. Remember you are my son, we are family, and I love you very much. Even when it seems like everything is falling apart, remember that, please trust me."

Harry nodded, wondering why Severus' words sounded as if he were foreshadowing something… but he decided not to ask, maybe it meant nothing….

"Are we ok now?"

Harry looked at him. He could see that Severus was holding back. What was he hiding? This was why he couldn't fully trust him. Severus still had secrets. Despite of him being his new dad, despite of his words, Harry still couldn't fully trust him. If Severus was going to hold secrets then so be it! Harry was going to keep secrets too. He decided to keep the Half-Blood Prince a secret, he decided to not tell Severus about Dumbledore's note or even his own plan to talk to Draco.

"I will try, Severus, I'll try to trust you. Draco is my friend." His heart hurt for lying. He felt so bad but Severus was the one who started it!

"And he is my godson. I won't let him fall," Severus said softly.

"You should adopt him," Harry said, he can come home with us for the holidays, that way he can be away from Voldemort and be safe with us!

"That isn't easy as it sounds, Narcisa would never allow it."

"She will if it protects her only son!"

Severus looked as if he were to argue but decided to take into consideration what Harry was saying. "I'll talk to her. Maybe she might let him stay with us during the holidays to keep him safe."

Harry smiled, "that makes me feel better."

"Just don't say anything to anyone yet. We don't know what is going to happen yet. I promise you, I am keeping an eye out for Draco."

"Okay…."

Severus stood up and sat back down in his armchair.

"One more thing, Harry."

"Yes?"

"You're having issues on my acting? You don't like it when I pretend I still hate you?"

Harry nodded, "it's too hard. It messes with my emotions. Can we figure something out?"

"What do you suggest?"

"How about you give me like a safe word, letting me know that you're just acting, that you don't really mean anything your saying? I know it sounds childish but it's just it reminds me too much of my uncle and when you used to hate me. It traps me in the past and I need a que to remind me that it isn't real anymore," Harry shrugged, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"Don't be ashamed, Harry, I understand perfectly."

"You do?" Harry looked at him in surprised, his anger at his dad seeping away. He really did miss talking to him, even if it wasn't everything.

Severus nodded, "any suggestions?"

Harry shrugged. "A wink, maybe?"

"I can do that."

Harry shrugged, still feeling embarrassed for acting like a scared child.

Severus leant over, "hey look at me, kid."

Harry slowly looked up at his guardian, his emotions for him turning from anger and hurt to guilty and sad. He was so tired he just wanted to go to bed.

"I'm tired, Sev, can we finish this talk up later? I'm not mad at you anymore, okay? I just want to go to bed."

Severus looked as if he wanted to say more, but held back. Harry wish he hadn't. He wanted to confide in him about his plan to talk to Draco and the Half-Blood Prince, he almost did, but decided against it.

"If that is your wish, we can continue tomorrow," Severus answered. "You should be getting to bed, you have lessons tomorrow."

Harry stood up and Severus followed him to the portrait door.

"Hey, give me a hug, kid," Severus said.

Harry hugged his dad goodnight.

There was so much more he wanted to say to him but he couldn't open up. There was so much that Severus was holding back. Harry can see It in him. How did this happen? The last day of summer break was so fun and they bonded. It was full of promises and excitement for the future and now there was a rift between them keeping them apart with unspoken words and mistrust. That sense that Severus was hiding something from him was growing stronger and he couldn't shake it off. Harry left Severus' quarters, almost wishing that he asked to spend the night in his bedroom but he didn't want to look like a baby so he made his way to Gryffindor tower, his mind racing on this evening's talk and his heart aching for the summer that past.

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed my story and I apologize for the long wait. Thank you mamacasper06, carriemarie78, aixxx, zooyork81879, Guest, and elisabella442001 for your reviews! – Chase'sGirl19**


	3. Chapter 3 Not all Hope is Lost

**Chapter Three – Not all Hope is Lost**

As soon as Harry left his quarters, Severus helped himself to another cup of strong black tea. He sat down at the kitchen table, feeling a bit numb from their conversation. So much was said, yet, so little was revealed. And he asked himself again how in one night, he and Harry were suddenly separated by a chasm of secrets and hurt feelings. He could see how little Harry was revealing, how much he was hiding. Severus thought about Harry's proposal on Draco being a Death Eater. He wasn't surprised the boy had figured it out already, he just wished Harry could just trust him for once.

Severus and Albus had this situation handled, a situation too delicate for a teenage boy and his friends to deal with on their own. He was right to turn Harry away. He wished his son could just trust him and Albus, but that was where the problem laid. The boy might say that he does, but as Severus recalled the words that were spoken on the beach, with a sinking heart, Severus realized he was a fool to believe that Harry had moved on from his past, completely ready to trust the adults in his life. For when it came down to it..., Severus realized, no matter how much Harry wanted to trust adults, he couldn't. The Dursleys' neglect and hate had affected that child to the core, to the point where trust was broken. That is why Harry blew up when Severus told him to trust him and Albus, to leave it to the adults, because Harry knew deep down, that he couldn't.

Severus sipped on his tea, blowing the hot steam away, deep in thought, stress was quickly turning into anxiety. His heart felt like cold, dark hands were squeezing it. Piercing it with sharp claws.

Never letting go.

Holding on tighter and tighter, until his heart couldn't perform its rhythmic beating.

He closed his eyes, remaining calm, thinking of the best way to brew the Wolfsbane potion. It was a project he had been working on since the summer; perfecting it for Remus. It was strange how even though he hated Remus at the time, Severus thought of improving the potion for the werewolf, telling himself it was really to make Harry happy, never understanding why the brat loved that wolf so much.

And then suddenly, after days of bitterness and resentment, days of hating the werewolf, days of fighting with him... somehow... Severus found himself falling. Falling for those forest-green eyes, and that warm scent that reminded him of tea, chocolate, old books and home.

The flames in the fireplace suddenly grew and a green glow illuminated the sitting room. Severus noticed none of this, still deep in thoughts, trying to control his stress levels.

"Severus?"

Severus' heart jumped, his legs feeling numb. There was only one person in this world to make him react like that with just the softest tone of his name. Severus looked up, calming himself down. He didn't want him to see him like this.

With his mask back on, Severus answered, "in here."

Remus entered the kitchen, looking exhausted, but glad to be there. Severus took in his brown robes, disheveled and hanging on his thin frame. His messy, golden hair and bags under his eyes. His skin was pale, the werewolf certainly looked like he needed a nap as soon as possible.

Severus stood up and began to make an herbal tea mixed with a drop of a sleeping potion. Remus needed sleep. He knew what was bothering him, what kept him up during the night. He suspected it for a while….

"Sit, Remus. You look dead on your feet. I'm making you some herbal tea to relax you and help you sleep tonight."

"There's no need, Severus. I wouldn't want to be a bother," Remus answered, standing in the doorway.

"You are not a bother, Lupin!" Severus growled as he set the tea pot on the stove. "Now sit before I make you sit!"

Remus chuckled, "your empty threats don't scare me!"

Severus scowled, "careful words, Lupin, don't forget, I'm the one making your tea."

Remus chuckled again. Severus heard the scrape of a chair, a rustle of robes, and knew the werewolf had sat down.

Once the tea was ready, Severus sat it in front of the werewolf. "I want you to drink every drop."

Remus gave him a suspicious glance. "Why...?" He stopped at Severus' cold glare.

It was a moment where no one talked. Remus blowing on his tea, taking careful sips, savoring the flavor. Severus could see the werewolf melt as the herbal tea relaxed his body, taking away his anxiety.

Severus was finishing his own as he wondered yet again, how Harry managed to produce a perfect Draught of Living Death today, and why it seemed as if he were hiding his textbook in class. Something strange was going on and Severus couldn't figure it out. His stress and anxiety was taking a toll on him, and he knew if he wasn't so stressed out, then he would've figured out the answer by now, for the bloody thing was probably staring at him in the face!

"I take it that your talk with Harry didn't go well?"

Severus shook his head, "I was hoping we can resolve things, but it seems we are more farther away than ever. How is this possible, Remus? How could we be so close one day, and then suddenly the next day, it's as if nothing happened. He was so happy at the beach. He opened up! He told me he trusted me and he was going to try to get better and now ... not even one full day back at Hogwarts, and he hates me again! Maybe I wanted him so bad to get better, and I was just seeing what I wanted to see, when this whole time... he wasn't. I feel like we are back where we started. Maybe he was just pretending…. I feel like..."

"You're not a failure, Severus, Harry is just being ... well you know… Harry. The moment you took him in, you knew it was going to be hard. The moment you decided to adopt him, you knew what you were getting into and how long it was going to take for him to fully heal and actually trust you. Right now, he may say he does, but deep down, he doesn't. It doesn't mean you should give up. The fact that he says he trusts you, only means that he wants too. He wants to trust you, but doesn't know how, that is something at least. Now he needs you to show him how. You need to guide him. That is all he needs. You finally got him to see that cutting himself is wrong, that he isn't a freak and doesn't deserve to be hurt. You helped him raise his self-esteem and now you must teach him how to trust. Don't give up hope yet, Severus, right now it seems impossible, but he will come around. You are doing a fantastic job, just don't lose hope yet."

Remus' words almost made Severus want to cry. He couldn't believe it. No one has been able to move him like that! Ever! What was it about this werewolf that affected Severus so much? He could not understand it.

And he was considering those forest-green eyes, suddenly lost in them.

Time just stopped. He could feel his heart beating in his chest and Severus almost told Remus everything that was bothering him, everything that caused him stress, everything...

Albus' plan...

The betrayal he was forced to do when the time came...

The secrets he was forced to keep...

The very fact that there will be a time where Severus won't be able to guide Harry through the war.

Harry was going to have to walk that road alone... A very dark, lonely road of betrayal and secrets, death, darkness and blood...

And in the end, Severus won't be there.

And that killed him, it killed him so much, that it ate at him every day, and he suddenly couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want to be a part of Albus' plan. He wanted no part, but he had to be, for the next generation of young witches and wizards. For Harry's future...

Severus hated himself for following Albus blindly. And he was so grateful Remus was here, offering him advice. Grateful that Harry even bothered to show up and talk, showing Severus that his son still cared for their relationship. Remus was right. Hope was not lost, it wasn't, and Severus just had to hold on. That was the only thing that kept him from breaking, breaking into a million pieces right in front of Remus.

Remus just watched him, studying his face, but he didn't say anything else, didn't force him for answers, asking what it was he was hiding from him and he loved that about the werewolf….

Unfortunately, he couldn't do the same… he had to ask….

"Remus…, thank you for that…."

Remus smiled and that was what kept Severus talking. He didn't want to ask, he knew if the roles were switched, and he was in Remus' place who had the misfortune to be tortured by Greyback, he wouldn't want anybody asking about what happened, why he couldn't sleep, how he was dealing…but Severus had too. He could see Remus wasn't dealing. In his eyes, he could see how bad the werewolf was in pain.

"You haven't been sleeping. You barely eat. Your easily distracted, not all your usual self…," Severus said all this in a low mummer, almost afraid to bring this up, hiding behind his curtain of hair as he looked down at his empty tea cup. "You must talk to me about the summer at the werewolf camp. I want to know how you are dealing…."

Severus stopped….

For there it was… his heart sank….

Remus' frown…

Golden eyes narrowed…

Clenched jaw and balled up fists….

All the signs of someone upset…no… angry….

Severus' words died in his throat, maybe the werewolf wasn't ready to talk about it….

Remus stood up, his chair clattering to the floor.

Severus was thrown off by this sudden reaction. In all the years he known him since age eleven, Remus was always so mellow, so gentle, kind, reserved and patient. Never letting his anger get the best of him… never… until now…, this was not like Remus Lupin at all.

"Remus…."

Remus glared at him with angry, golden eyes.

Icy, cold eyes filled with pain, a deep, gut-wrenching pain, yet burning hot with anger and humiliation, anger and shame and ... Severus could feel the pain coming off in waves.

Remus shook his head, turning around and leaving. Quickly, Severus followed him, grabbing him by the hand and turning him around. Remus pulled away from him, not saying a word. His werewolf strength was still there, pushing Severus almost to the floor but luckily, he grabbed onto the arm of the sofa, preventing an embarrassing accident.

"Remus!" Severus shouted, but the werewolf didn't listen. He wrenched open the portrait door and slammed it shut behind him. Severus cursed out loud. He knew the werewolf heard him. He didn't care how angry this made him, he was going to get him to talk, no matter how bad he reacted. He could see Remus was depressed. He could see it clearly. The symptoms and signs were all there, and he wasn't going to let Remus fall.

* * *

The first week of Hogwarts flew by quickly. Harry found himself busy with classes and homework. Sixth year was proving to be tougher than their fifth year. His homework kept piling up. Late at night, he found himself unable to sleep, instead he busied himself by observing the Half-Blood Prince's book. The writing was familiar, he seen it before. He wondered who the Half-Blood Prince was. He skimmed through the book, looking at the improvements the Prince did on some of the instructions to brew a potion. In some of the corners, spells were written. Often Harry would wonder if the Half-Blood Prince had created them or wonder if he was still alive as he flipped through the pages of the mysterious book.

When Harry was not in class, doing homework, or looking through the Prince's book, he was often wondering about Draco.

Draco seemed to be always accompanied by a group of Slytherins. Several times Harry tried to get Draco's attention, but he would never meet his gaze.

The tension around him and Severus seemed to be at a standstill. They talked again as Severus promised. For a couple of days, they were at least civil with each other, until...well... Harry had decided to talk back to him in class yesterday and show him cheek. But Snape deserved it! He was being a git to him and his friends! Acting or not, it was still bloody mean!

Sometimes Harry thought about mentioning the Half-Blood Prince to him. The Prince seemed like some sort of Potions genius and Severus would most likely know who he was. He almost did once... after class, once all his classmates were gone... but he didn't. What if Severus just got angry and took the book away, keeping yet more secrets. Harry decided not too. Severus had his secrets and now Harry had his.

Harry also noticed something weird between Remus and Severus. He couldn't name it, but it was tense between them. They didn't sit together during meals in the Great Hall anymore. Severus was constantly shooting angry, yet concerned looks at the werewolf. Remus was always trying his hardest not to look at Severus. Harry was disappointed. They seemed so good together, he wouldn't have minded having two dads. They needed each other and they were both stupid to let some stupid fight they had get in the way.

Harry was currently sitting in the Great Hall, eating breakfast, as all these thoughts swirled in his head. As he shot another swift glance at the feuding Severus and Remus, he took another bite of toast. Wondering what was up with them, wondering what to do with Draco, especially since Severus and Remus looked like they had their own problems to deal with. He had made up his mind. He didn't need adults to help him with Draco. He just had to find a way to get Draco alone and talk to him.

As Harry continued with his breakfast, he listened to the sounds of Ron and Hermione bickering, the chatter of students in the Great Hall, the hooting and fluttering owls as they brought in the morning post, the quiet, yet distinctive intellectual mutter of the professors at the staff table. Despite of everything, it was great to be back at Hogwarts officially as a student. He missed his friends, playing quidditch, hanging out at Gryffindor tower and his four-poster bed in the dormitories.

"I have a letter for you, Harry Potter."

Harry turned around to see a third year Hufflepuff handing him a letter with thin, slanted writing on the envelope, addressing it to him.

"Um, thank you," he said, taking the envelope, waiting for the Hufflepuff to leave before showing it to Ron and Hermione. The thin, slanted writing was all too familiar. It was from Professor Dumbledore.

"Who is it from?" Hermione whispered, leaning close to Harry so no one would hear their conversation.

"Dumbledore," Harry said, opening the letter and reading it. "He wants me to meet him on Saturday at eight o' clock P.M."

"But don't you have a detention with Snape?" Hermione asked.

Detention with Snape. How could he forget? Yesterday, when he decided to give cheek to Snape! During the DADA lesson, Harry was challenged by Severus to duel with only non-verbal spells. Except Severus was either getting carried away by his role or was just being an ass to him and his friends. Harry lost his temper and shouted _Protego,_ knocking the professor on his back. Severus then snapped at Harry, embarrassing him in font of everyone, of course Harry was going to talk back to him. Severus was still icy with him, so Harry had been keeping his distance since then. He was really dreading the detention, not looking forward to another fight with his dad, at least now he had an excuse to avoid Severus some more.

Harry frowned, as he reread Dumbledore's words. He wondered what this could be about. During the summer, he recalled the headmaster mentioning extra lessons once the school year started. Could this be the first one?

"Severus will understand," Harry said. This is way more important than some detention.

"I still don't think you should cancel your detention with Severus. Dumbledore should schedule your lesson a different time," Hermione said.

"Oh, give it a rest, Hermione," Ron groaned. "How is detention with Snape important than a lesson a with Dumbledore?"

"Oh, let's see then!" Hermione snapped. "Severus is Harry's father, and their relationship is hanging on a thread! A thread! You should have seen his face in class yesterday! He was livid with you, Harry! And you deserved it! You were so disrespectful to him! You don't think that hurt his feelings? And to make matters worse, instead of going to detention and apologize, your planning on going off with Dumbledore!"

"Hermione, this is Dumbledore we are talking about here," Harry said. "It's probably going to be about how I could defeat Voldemort!"

Ron flinched, dropping his orange juice all over his eggs. Hermione and Harry ignored him.

"This is the war we are talking about! Its too important! Severus and I can always talk and apologize later! Anyways, I don't even think I have much of a choice, this is a lesson from Dumbledore! Surely he already told Severus about this."

"But Severus is your father, I could see how distant you are with him. You need to fix that!" Hermione argued.

Harry paused, shocked for a moment. He didn't think his friends had noticed."Severus and I are gonna be okay," he said. "We always fight. Don't worry about us, Hermione."

Hermione scowled, getting up and grabbing her books. "Have you ever thought that maybe this fight is different, that Maybe Professor Snape is really upset at your behavior? Honestly, Harry! He's done so much for you, and this is how you repay him? Acting like a brat?!"

Harry and Ron exchanged shocked glances, not daring to interrupt her.

"Stop pretending like you and your father are okay! You're not fooling anyone, certainly not me!" and she was gone, probably off to the library.

"How do you argue with her every day?" Harry scowled at Ron. "That was scary!"

"Beats me, mate," Ron shrugged serving himself another plate of eggs and bacon.

"But let's face it, Harry. She is always mad at one of us and then soon she gets over it. I bet she just went off to the library to do some research for what Dumbledore might teach you… like advanced spells or something, so she can show you and help you prepare later."

"Yeah… blimey… your right," Harry said, suddenly feeling like a jerk.

"Let's face it," Ron said, "without her, we would never had made it to sixth year."

Harry laughed, "I know, we are helpless without her. I don't even know why she puts up with us, honestly!"

"Cus we are the only one's smart enough to be her friend," Ron said.

Harry smirked at Ron's words. He knew for a while his best friends had crushes on each other, and he wondered how long it was going to take them to realize it. Hermione might be smart, but when it came to romance, like Ron and Harry, she was pretty much oblivious.

"Hey, Harry," Ginny sat down across from him. "What are you smirking at?"

Harry stashed the letter in his pocket. Hoping Ginny didn't see it. He wasn't sure if he could tell anyone else about his lessons with Dumbledore besides Ron and Hermione.

"Harry, listen, I was wondering if you knew who the new captain for the Gryffindor team is this year?"

"I don't know…," Harry answered. "I was actually thinking about asking Katie or Alicia." They were the only ones left from the original Gryffindor team when Harry started in his first year.

"I'm shocked you didn't get the badge this year," she said.

Harry tried not blush.

"Hey! Maybe Dumbledore is planning on giving you the badge during your…! Ow!" Ron never got to finish his sentence for Harry gave him a kick under the table. He didn't want Ginny to know about the meetings. He wasn't sure if he was allowed to tell people.

Of course, Ginny didn't miss the look Harry gave her brother, she narrowed her eyes at them, but was tactful enough to not say anything.

Harry's stomach was doing cartwheels and flipflops. The last time he and Ginny were alone seemed so long ago.

The memory of it made him blush, remembering how close she was to him, the smell of her hair, the way she looked at him. It made Harry forget where he was and how messed up and overwhelmed he felt sometimes. She made him feel like a different person, like he could somehow live a normal life. A life where his parents did not die and he wasn't the chosen one to defeat a Dark Lord. It was all Harry ever wanted, to be normal, but he wasn't… and he hated it. He hated himself for it.

Harry remembered how he felt when she admitted to him that she understood him, that she knew what he was going through, and Harry could see it in her. That she truly meant it. He could still remember the fireflies around them, making her red hair glow, and the gift she gave him, simple, yet… it meant everything. It made him feel like he belonged with her and her family. No matter where he came from.

He wondered what would had happened if they had kissed, how her lips would had felt if Severus had not interrupted. He so much wanted to hold her hand that was lying face down on the table in front of him.

"Let's get to class, mate," Ron said, Ginny smiled at Harry and he wondered if she knew what he was thinking about. He smiled back and waved goodbye at her before following Ron out of the Great Hall.

* * *

Severus was livid, beyond livid.

How dare Albus schedule a meeting with Harry on the very day he was assigned detention!

Albus knew why Harry had the detention, how the boy decided to be stupid and disrespectful to him.

Albus knew the sudden strain on their relationship.

Albus knew he was planning to give Harry a good lecture, in the process hopefully repairing what was broken between them!

But, no!

Albus had to be selfish!

He didn't even have the decency to let Severus know until ten minutes before Potter was to arrive. Severus had prepared a sink full of rusted old cauldrons, caked with grime of old failed potions for the brat to scrub and feel sorry for himself.

Severus shouted out his password and banged the portrait door shut behind him, heading straight to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. He slammed down the tea kettle onto the stove, all the while muttering to himself about disrespectful teenagers and headmasters that don't consider anyone else's needs but their own!

Once the tea was ready, Severus sat down in his office. A pile of student work was there waiting for him, making him grumpier. He didn't really feel like checking those over but he did anyway, his disappointment becoming greater which each passing paper. He was just writing a big red D over Weasley's paper. When he heard the roar of the fireplace in his sitting room, the walls glowed green and he wondered who it could be, paying him a social call at this hour. He glanced at the clock, it was late.

 _It better be Albus!_ He thought.

Severus got up and made his way to the sitting room, to see the Hogwarts headmaster standing in front of the fireplace.

"You have some nerve showing up after what you just pulled!" Severus growled.

"Ah, Severus," Albus chuckled. "The lesson went well, if you were wondering."

Severus narrowed his eyes, unable to help himself to ask how the first meeting went. He doubted Harry was even going to tell him. After all, the boy also failed to mention the change of plans for his detention.

"How did he do?"

"I showed him a bit of Merope Gaunt's family. Harry has potential. I know with our guidance, he will succeed what we cannot."

"Meaning..."

"He discovered far more than I did from Bob Ogden's memory. Harry will defeat Tom. It is essential for us to prepare him, until the time comes, when he must defeat Tom without us there to guide him."

"And what if I don't want him to do this by himself?"

"Severus, I've told you so many times, it is the only way, it is what has to happen and Harry will succeed. Just have faith in the boy."

Severus snorted, eyes landing on Albus' black hand, dead, lifeless from the curse. Harry would have tried asking the headmaster about that tonight. Severus knew his son well.

"Did he ask you about your hand," he asked.

Albus raised up his hand, examined it and said, "he's very curious, he did try asking but I steered him to a different topic."

"He's not going to let it go so easily, he'll bring it up again, until he gets an answer. Harry doesn't like things hidden from him, especially things he deserves to know."

Albus only examined his hand once more and chuckled.

Severus scowled, "is there anything else in particular that you came to tell me, if not…."

"One more thing, your detention is rescheduled for next Saturday."

"Great," Severus muttered. "Well if that is all, I must get back to grading some very disappointing, idiotic, term papers."

Albus chuckled, "don't mind me intruding any longer. I have another lead on another horcrux. I won't be here for a few weeks, I'm afraid, so please watch over the students, Severus."

Worry prickled in Severus's chest. The old fool annoyed him to no end, but he had to face it, without Albus, the wizarding world didn't stand a chance. Harry would be lost without him, and Severus, well, he would be without the only father/mentor figure he had ever known. He was never going to admit that, even after death.

"Don't be stupid this time, Albus, take care you don't curse your other hand."

The words were mean, but behind them, Severus hid his worry and fear for him, hid the fact that he cared for the man. And he was pretty sure Albus understood what he was hiding.

"I'll take care, Severus, there's too much at stake. I cannot afford to make anymore foolish mistakes.

Severus could have sworn the old man had a tear in his eye, but he didn't care to look, instead he just headed back to his office and a roar of green flames had announced Albus' departure.

As Severus buried himself into his work, his anger began to disappear. Instead fear and worry began to overwhelm him. Worry for Albus' safety on his journey on hunting horcruxes, fear and worry for his son, who will have to walk this path alone to defeat Voldemort. He knew Albus was doing all he could to protect Harry and guide him, he knew Albus was doing what he thought to be right, to save the wizarding world. He knew this was Harry's destiny, but he wished Albus was wrong.

But Albus was hardly ever wrong.

And he feared for the time when Harry would be alone without his mentor or father around to guide him.

Severus found himself vowing, no matter what, no matter how much Harry hated him, Severus would always be there, always helping him and guiding him, because no matter how much they fought or how much Harry annoyed him or disrespected him, Harry was not only the Potter's son. Harry was his now, his son, and he would give his life for him. For Harry, he will, for his son, there will come a time when everything was lost, when Albus and Severus would possibly be dead at the hands of the Dark Lord, but hope will never be lost for his son, because always, in spirit and in life, Harry would always have Severus.

 _ **A/N: I'm so sorry for the long wait, I've just been busy with life. I'm not abandoning this story, so please don't give up on it. I'm still writing, but just taking my time. Thank you everyone for all the reviews, I've read every one of them and loved them all! -Chase'sGirl19**_


	4. Chapter 4 Trust the Werewolf

**Chapter Four – Trust the Werewolf**

Harry couldn't believe what Dumbledore had shown him tonight. It was of Voldemort's family. It was strange to think of him having relatives. It was hard to believe the dark wizard was once a kid. Did anyone know what he was destined to become? Did anyone have any hint or feeling? Harry had asked that question to Professor Dumbledore and the old wizard had told him no.

What had even drove Tom Riddle to the edge? What made him want to become so evil? What made him emotionless, so inhumane, a monster? What will it take to drive someone to such a dark place? Harry shuddered to think what would make someone turn dark, wondering if that would've been his future.

Dumbledore said Tom Riddle grew up in an orphanage, he grew up without anyone caring for him. Could that be a result? If Severus hadn't helped Harry over the summer, would that had been his fate? Would he had eventually starved himself to death? Die at the hands of his uncle, or cut himself until he lost too much blood? Or would he had turned out like Voldemort?

He couldn't help but think of the things they had in common, for instance, rotten childhoods, similar looks, both half-blood. Harry was almost put in Slytherin. Maybe, that's what the Dursleys noticed in him. Maybe they detected something dark in him, causing them to be afraid and beat the magic out of him. That was probably why they named him a freak.

Burning pain began to flare in his arm, causing him to look at it with shock. He was scratching himself again! He promised Severus he'll try to stop, however, due to fighting with his dad, worrying over Draco, and thinking about Tom Riddle and the Dursleys, it was too much stress building up inside of him. He tried not to think about how good cutting himself would feel to relieve it all.

Harry also didn't like how Dumbledore dismissed him so easily after he asked him about that peculiar ring on his hand. It looked a lot like Marvolo Gaunt's ring. Harry had asked if it was the same one. The old wizard wouldn't answer and practically kicked Harry out of his office, just like when he had that peculiar dream of Voldemort and Bellatrix planning someone's murder.

Severus promised that they would talk about it with Dumbledore, but the only thing that happened was Harry getting kicked out so they could talk in bloody secrecy. Despite Dumbledore showing Harry so much, yet revealing so little, he wondered what Dumbledore was planning. Why is the professor showing him Tom Riddle's past? And why all the secrets? Harry was tired of them not telling him everything, always being left in the dark. There were just so many unanswered questions that swirled around in his head.

Only one good thing came out of this evening, Harry was now the official Gryffindor Quidditch captain. Dumbledore had just given him the badge before they dove into the pensive. His chest ached for not being able to tell his guardian. He wanted so much to just go to him, get everything off his chest. He wanted to turn around and go down the familiar path to Severus' quarters, but they were still fighting.

Instead, he forced himself to keep walking to Gryffindor tower. Besides, Harry was betting his firebolt, the professor did not want to see his face right now, especially for what he did in class, acting all cheeky and disrespectful. And in front of the whole class! Hermione was right! Harry just made everything worse by not showing up to his detention. Harry knew he couldn't avoid his dad forever, sooner or later they were both going to have to stop being stubborn gits and apologize to each other.

Suddenly footsteps echoed from the next corridor, stopping Harry in his tracks. He quickly pulled his invisibility cloak over himself and leaned against a tapestry of trolls. The footsteps were now getting closer, Harry realized he was breathing heavily under his cloak. He quickly slapped his hand against his mouth.

It wasn't long till he could make out a dark figure in the shadows of the corridor. He stayed as still as he could, not daring to make a single sound. Feeling hot under the invisibility cloak, Harry watched the figure come closer and closer, footsteps sounding louder and louder. A swish of robes was heard, and from the light of the moon coming from one of the huge windows, he could make out silver blonde hair and green Slytherin robes.

Draco!

Harry's heart skipped a beat. He stepped out of his hiding spot, pulling off the cloak, he appeared right in front of the Slytherin like an apparition.

"Bloody Hell! Potter!" Draco, usually so composed, jumped a foot in the air, his hand over his heart. He looked at Harry, breathing hard, noticing the invisibility cloak in his hands.

"Aren't Slytherins supposed to be ready for any signs of possible danger? Not jumping about like us foolish Gryffindors?" Harry teased, hoping with all his heart that Draco will drop his act he had on the train and become his friend again.

Grey-blue eyes connected with bright-green. Harry could see a glimmer of mischief and sudden relief washed over him. It was only an act, they were still friends! Then Draco's eyes suddenly hardened and Harry's heart sank.

"Does your daddy know you're here, Potter? You better get to your dormitory before you get in trouble. We wouldn't want that now, would we?" Draco sneered, raising his wand to him. "Go on now. Be a good little boy for that greasy, dungeon bat!"

Harry tightened his hold on his wand, ready to draw it out as soon as Draco uttered a spell. "Drop the act, Malfoy! No one is around."

"Drop what act, Potter? I hope you weren't spying on me again, or do you want another broken nose?"

"Draco, no one is here! Stop acting like a prat!"

Draco only glared at him. "You stupid git, you didn't get the message on the train? We were never friends. It was only a truce just to get me through those weeks. Summer is over! The truce is over! So, get the hell away from me, Potter!"

Draco walked past him, carefully making sure to hit him as hard as he could with his shoulder. Harry felt his heart squeeze painfully at those words.

 _He must be lying! He doesn't mean what he said!_

Harry knew the friendship they formed was true and not a lie. Everything about that summer was real!

 _He's just trying to push me away! I see right through you, Draco! Stop being a noble git!_ Harry wanted to shout out those words, but before he could stop himself, he shouted, "Draco! Tell me about your task from Voldemort! What is he making you do!"

The Slytherin stopped in his tracks, still holding on tightly to his wand. "Shut your mouth. You don't know what you're talking about."

Harry didn't want it to be like this! He didn't want this conversation to be a fight, but Draco was acting like a stupid, stuck up, git! He knew him too well, he knew this wasn't the real Draco. The Slytherin had put his mask back on, hiding behind it, and Harry wasn't going to let him!

"I do," Harry murmured, daring to step closer so he was right behind him. "After you left us, Severus told me about your task, although, he wouldn't tell me what it is. I know you and your family's life is on the line. You don't have to do this. Dumbledore could help you, Severus could…."

Draco spun around, causing them to be inches apart. His grey-blue eyes were stormy with pain, anger and fear. "Could what, Potter? That old fool can't do anything, he's losing his marbles! He's no match for the Dark Lord anymore. Snape can't do anything, he's the Dark Lord's bloody servant! He says he's a spy, but what side is he truly on? Dumbledore's? Or the Dark Lord's? No one truly knows, but bloody Severus Snape himself! Open your eyes, Potter! Everything is changing and its better to be on the side destined to succeed! Just stay out of my business. Like I said, you don't know anything!" The Slytherin spat and as if it were an afterthought, he added, "maybe it's better that it stays that way..."

Harry stepped back, not believing the words his friend just said. Over the summer it was always Draco that was more reserved, more reasonable and patient when Harry was having a panic attack or an argument with Severus. He was always there, ready to cheer him up, make him feel like a normal kid again and this Draco standing before him, Harry didn't recognize.

"So, your giving up?" Harry asked, trying to control his rising temper, trying not to betray the hurt Draco's words had caused him.

Draco just glared at him and walked away.

"I know your better than that!" Harry shouted. "Show me your arm! Show me the reason to why you're suddenly giving away your whole life to that bastard!"

Draco whirled around, eyes full of anger, "Flipendo!" he shouted.

Harry felt himself get knocked off his feet, as if a giant flicked him away. He flew to the air and crashed into the wall. The air knocked out of his windpipe, he gasped in pain as he fell to the floor. He looked up just in time to see Draco walking away, not even looking back.

Harry stayed where he was, his bruised back against the wall, trying to catch his breath. He wondered if this whole time, Draco was faking their friendship, waiting until he was back with Voldemort to show his true self. Before Draco left during the summer, he promised they were still going to be friends, that he might have to act his part, but when no one was around, he'll be his normal self, Draco without his mask. Was it all a lie? Was every word he said a lie?

Dark thoughts twisted around in his mind. They reminded him of the monsters in the shadows, monsters he was afraid of when he was little, sleeping in a dirty broom cupboard. He suddenly felt it, that small longing that grew bigger and bigger, until it took over and it was all he could think about, all that mattered, until he did it, until he cut open his skin and felt the burning, satisfying pain. Cut deeper and deeper, until crimson-red blood trailed along his pale and scarred skin. He had to cut, he needed to feel this emotional pain inside, pain he couldn't stand anymore.

Harry tried to not give in, knowing Severus would be livid if he saw his already scratched up arm. His thoughts switched to Draco and the first time they began to form an actual friendship. This memory that meant so much to him, that changed things between them….

 _Harry slammed the door hard behind him, not caring that Severus might come in here to yell at him for being disrespectful. He had enough of the slimy Potions professor who only lied to him about everything! This whole situation was all a lie…only duty! Severus never cared for him, and Harry had no idea why the man was still trying!_

 _"What are you two fighting about now?" a voice drawled from his desk. Harry turned to see Malfoy sitting at his desk, working on his homework._

 _"Like you care!" Harry growled in annoyance and kicked the door hard._

 _"Hey, Potter, stop that!" but Harry couldn't, and he suddenly felt arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him away._

 _"What the hell, Malfoy?!" Harry shouted._

 _"Do you want Snape to come in here for making that noise? He's going too, if you don't fucking stop hurting yourself!"_

 _"So, what? Why do you care? You'll probably love the show! Me hurting myself, looking like a complete nut job, and Snape yelling at me!" Harry shouted._

 _"No, Potter! You are wrong."_

 _Harry tried to pull his body away from Malfoy. He couldn't stand to be touched._

 _"Let go of me!"_

 _"Only if you promise to stop and listen to me!"_

 _Again, Harry tried to get away from the Slytherin's clutches, but Malfoy was resilient, not letting go. He shouted out in frustration, his muscles tensed, hating the feel of human contact._

 _"Okay, I'm calm!" he shouted._

 _"You don't sound calm," Malfoy said._

 _Harry took a deep breath, closing his eyes, trying to calm down, his anger soon began to fade a little, at least enough for Malfoy to finally release him._

 _"You have to lay off Snape, Potter!" he snapped, glaring at him._

 _Harry glared back at him, "you don't know what you're talking about! You_ _don't know anything!"_

 _"I know enough that you're lucky he has taken you in for the summer! You should at least be respectful even though your mad at him!"_

 _"You're talking about being respectful? After you've treated Remus, Hagrid and Dumbledore in the past? Hypocrite!"_

 _"Fine! I'm a hypocrite! Call me out on it all you want, but you can't keep living with Snape like this for the whole summer! You have to talk to him and let him know why you're so mad at him."_

 _His words caught Harry off guard, who was he to lecture him on being disrespectful? How much of his past does Malfoy know?_

 _"How do you know I'm mad at him for something? What if I just can't stand living with him?"_

 _"Before Snape arrived to pick us up from the Burrow, you kept asking Mrs. Weasley for him. When your scar was hurting, you wanted him, only Snape could calm_ you down. _Then suddenly you see me sitting with him, talking to him and then you hate h_ _im! Why_ , _Potter? Jealous I was taking his attention from you? The only reason you would be jealous is if he took you in! If you two somehow worked out your feud and now grew close….what is he now your new guardian? And the only explanation to your sudden fights is your upset that I'm here or something that he's done!"_

 _Harry looked away, the Slytherin was more observant than he thought._

 _"Just talk to me, Potter, why are you so upset with him?" Malfoy said in exasperation._

 _"Just because we formed a truce doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly be your best friend," Harry muttered, not trusting his old enemy._

 _Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Your impossible! Fine, be a prat! I'm going back to my homework," and he sat back at the desk, flipping through his textbook._

 _It was several moments of silence, Harry sitting on his bed against the headboard, burying his face in his lap, arms wrapped_ _around his knees. The only sound in the room was Malfoy scratching his quill against his parchment, occasionally flipping through his textbook._

 _He wondered why Severus hadn't come in yet to check on him, especially since he kicked the door. Does he even care?_ _Why am I here? Why is Dumbledore making me stay here? Severus doesn't want to take care of a freak like me, Harry contemplated._

 _He wouldn't blame him if Severus decided to kick him out and keep Malfoy instead. The thought of his Gryffindor room changing into Slytherin green almost made him want to tear up._

 _"I thought he cared about me," Harry suddenly said. He didn't know what made him say it. He was just so upset and hurt, and if he didn't talk about it, he feared he would go mental._

 _Malfoy stopped writing._

 _"He rescued me from my aunt and uncle," Harry paused, his throat was closing from anxiety._

 _He was suddenly feeling nervous. The only one he talked to about this was Severus._ _He took a deep breath and forced himself to go on. "He said they were abusing me, so he brought me here. He's been helping me, talking to me, letting me vent and helping me to not cut myself. He's been helping me deal with Sirius… and telling me I'm worth more than being a freak, that I'm a good kid."_

 _Harry stopped for a while, this was so hard, why was it so hard!_

 _"He told me he cares for me! That he wants me to get better! But he lied! This was all for duty! Duty only for Dumbledore or maybe even Voldemort! I don't know! I don't know if I can trust him_ _anymore, because now apparently everything was just one big, stupid lie!" he shouted._

 _Malfoy put down his quill and turned around._ _"Potter, I think he was saying that because I was there."_

 _Harry only shook his head, arms still wrapped tightly around his legs, his gaze focused on his lap, he was too embarrassed to look at the Slytherin._

 _"Fine," Malfoy sighed in annoyance. ''Don't believe me, but I do know Snape cares for you."_

 _Harry only shrugged, he still couldn't bring himself to say anymore, still in shock for how much he revealed._

 _"Is that why you cut? Because those muggles hurt you?"_

 _Harry tugged down his sleeve trying to hide the bandage with the healing cuts beneath them._

 _"Remember when you were in the hospital wing after you cut your arm really bad? We formed our truce and I told you about my friend Blaise cutting himself?"_

 _Harry nodded, wondering where Malfoy was going with this._

 _"He didn't want me to tell anyone, but one day he cut himself up pretty bad I had no choice...I told Snape, and he helped Blaise. He talked to him and made sure he didn't cut again, now Blaise is better. The last time I spoke to him, he told me Snape helped him stopped. He knows what he is doing. You can trust him."_

 _"I don't know if I can…."_

 _"Just try, Potter!" Malfoy insisted in exasperation. "I don't want you to end up almost killing yourself again! I've never seen Snape so upset when you were in the hospital wing."_

 _"No, he wasn't! He was probably just disappointed I didn't die," Harry muttered._

 _"Shut up, Potter! I swear, he might had cried when no one was watching!" Malfoy laughed._

 _"You're not helping your case," Harry smiled. "I'm never going to believe that!"_

 _They both looked at each other, Harry's eyes red from crying, Malfoy's blue-grey eyes for the first time not full of malice._

 _Malfoy stood up and sat next to Harry on the bed, gently picking up his arm and turning it over, taking the bandage off to reveal the angry red wounds and the faded white scars. If it were anyone touching him, looking at his scars, Harry would had pushed them away, closed himself off from people he couldn't trust. But Malfoy was different, he couldn't explain why, something about his touch felt softer than he thought it would be._

 _"I know why you cut yourself," Malfoy muttered, his cheeks a little pink._

 _Harry looked at him, wondering what his theory would be._

 _"It's the only way to escape what your feeling, get rid of the pain you feel inside. I admit, I've come close to cutting, Potter, but I never crossed the line."_

 _Harry scoffed, "Draco Malfoy feeling pain? You're the richest kid in Hogwarts."_

 _"And destined to be alongside the Dark Lord. Expected to follow my father's footsteps, even if it's not what I want."_

 _"You don't?" Harry asked in surprised. "That's all you gloat about."_

 _Malfoy shook his head. "It's for appearances. I can't have the Slytherins think I'm soft. I'll be eaten alive! That's why I'm so mean to everyone at school."_

 _"Who cares what they think! Malfoy, if you really don't want to be on Voldemort's side, if you don't want to be a Death Eater, then don't do it! It doesn't matter what your parents would think or your friends or even Voldemort! It's your life!"_

 _Malfoy shook his head. "It's not as easy as it sounds, Potter. It would mean me betraying him! Betraying my family, everyone and I'll be dead! No one escapes from that life alive, you're either a Death Eater, or your dead."_

 _"It doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Dumbledore, Severus, and the Order can protect you. You can hang out with me and my friends at school. We'll keep you safe from the Slytherins."_

 _Malfoy didn't say anything, he only wrapped Harry's arm back up in its bandages, hiding the scars. He decided to just drop the subject. It was obvious the Slytherin didn't want to talk about it anymore._

 _"Thanks for stopping me from kicking the door down. Severus would've chopped me up for potion ingredients if I had broken my foot."_

 _Malfoy laughed, "maybe I should've let you! That way I can have this room to myself! And your firebolt!"_

 _He grabbed a pillow, whacking Harry in the face with it._ _It was clear the Slytherin didn't want to talk about anything anymore and so Harry decided to play along and hit him back with his own pillow, causing a full-on war, until Severus came and snapped at them to stop, making them clean Harry's room._

This memory meant so much to Harry. He hadn't known it at the time, but it was one of their first serious conversations, it was one of those moments that brought them closer together, forming a friendship. There was no way that was all a lie, no bloody way! Harry could still remember how sincere Draco was that day.

Throughout the summer when Harry was upset at Severus, Draco was always there to listen to him and calm him down. He remembered Severus' words, telling him that Voldemort had a task for Draco. Is that why he was branded the mark? To ensure that he would go through with it? Severus would know if Draco was branded, if he knew about the task, then he would know and he hated that Severus was lying to him, telling him not to worry about anything.

Severus was hiding things from him. He had known for a while, there were moments in the summer where he noticed the professor lost in thoughts, distant, not telling him what he was thinking about sometimes. When he smiled or laugh it didn't reach his eyes as if there was something on his mind, preventing him from being happy. And Harry just wished Severus could tell him, wish the professor could trust him also. He was tired of being left in the dark, especially when it was something that effected Draco's life.

"Harry?" A voice suddenly rang in the corridor, interrupting his thoughts. He looked up to see Remus Lupin coming his way with only his wand light to guide him.

"What are you doing here so late? Are you alright?" the werewolf asked, concern etched along his face.

 _No. I'm not.…_ Harry wanted to say, but couldn't answer, his throat had closed up, he couldn't speak. He covered his scratched-up arm. Guilt kept him from looking at Remus, his eyes trained on the floor.

Remus was now in front of him, kneeling to his eye level. His eyes traveled down from Harry's face to his arm he was covering. He kept his eyes there for several moments, Harry could sense the wheels turning in the werewolf's head, as he tried to process what he was seeing.

"Cub, let's go to my office," Remus said quietly. His gaze back on Harry's face. "We can make some hot coco or tea if you like."

Harry knew what Remus was doing, to find out why he was hurting himself and he just wanted to say no, push the werewolf away, because it wasn't his business. It was no one's business and he wished Remus, Severus and even Draco never knew about his habit. He wanted them to leave him alone, let him cut in peace because it was the only thing that helped.

But the warmth of hot coco in Remus' office sounded really great right now, like the time they were practicing the Patronus charm in his third year, eating chocolate and talking about Harry's parents. Harry loved those times he spent with Remus. And he couldn't help but miss those times in third year where the only thing to worry about was to practice that Patronus charm that solved his dementor problem, it was too bad a simple spell couldn't help Harry now.

"Come one, Harry," Remus muttered in a soft voice.

Harry slowly raised his eyes to Remus, the werewolf looked so worried for him, causing him to feel bad for what he was thinking and how he was scratching himself. Why was he such a freak? He only nodded as he slowly stood up, his back protesting his every move from being slammed against the wall.

Harry didn't say a word the whole time they walked to Remus' office. He just followed the werewolf, feeling so stressed out and worried for Draco, sick of Severus keeping secrets from him. He was just tired of it all. He rubbed his arms, pressing his nails hard into his skin again, burning pain followed, soothing his anxieties.

He felt so bad for scratching himself up, especially after he promised Severus that he was going to try and stop, but how could he ever think of not hurting himself anymore when it was the only thing that helped?

He dugged his nails in deeper into his skin. He couldn't stop, even with Remus walking in front of him. Blood started to well up from his scratches, trailing along his skin and onto the floor.

"Harry!" Remus shouted, hands were suddenly on him, wrapping around his arm and pulling his nails away from his skin.

"Don't touch me!" he shouted, pulling away from Remus.

He couldn't stand human contact right now. He couldn't help but remember the pain from Uncle Vernon's punishments, couldn't help but think of the pain he felt when Voldemort touched his scar in that graveyard, the night Cedric died. The pain from Aunt Petunia always smacking him in the face or his head, the pain from Dudley's bullying, Umbridge and her blood quill. If he held his fist tight enough, he could still see the thin white scars: _I shall not tell lies._

Remus held onto him tightly. He was stronger than Severus due to his werewolf strength. "Harry, stop! I'm not letting you go. Try pushing me away all you want," he snapped out. "I'm not going to let you hurt yourself!"

"Let go of me!" Harry cried out, twisting his body away from Remus, trying his hardest to escape the werewolf's grasp. His chest started to tighten, sensing a panic attack happening and wishing so much that Severus was here. He wanted his dad, but they were still fighting. Harry couldn't trust him and it broke him deep inside, making him so angry that before he could stop himself, he started hitting Remus' chest and stomach, trying his best to push him away, his nails digging into the werewolf's' clothes and skin.

"Let go of me!" he shouted again.

Remus didn't say anything just held him, held him until Harry grew tired of fighting. He held him until he broke down into sobs and buried his face into the werewolf's robes. Harry could feel Remus' heart beat in his chest, the slow rhythm begun to calm him, until there were no more tears. His chest began to release its pressure, allowing air to flow through his lungs, letting Harry breathe.

"It's alright, cub, it's okay, I'm here…. I'm here," Remus whispered repeatedly. Harry only clung on to him, listening to his heart beat, the only thing that made him feel safe.

Remus led him to the sofa. Harry barely noticed that they had somehow made it inside the professor's office. Harry was finally released and he sat down on the chair, eyes on the floor, feeling more ashamed and like a freak than ever before.

Remus disappeared for a while and came back with steaming hot coco topped with marshmallows. Harry took the cup in his hands, inhaling the delicious soothing aroma of chocolate before setting it down on the table. Remus brought his chair next to him and sat down. "Let me see your arm," he said.

Harry shook his head and pulled it close to him. He didn't want Remus to heal it and erase away the only thing that made him feel better.

"Harry," Remus said in a stern and low voice.

Harry sighed and gave him his arm. Remus gently held it up and muttered a simple healing spell. The wounds began to close up until there was nothing left.

"What happened, cub?" he asked calmly, looking at him with his hazel-green eyes, for once there were no traces of amber.

Harry looked at Remus and noticed the bags under his eyes, the paleness of his skin, and how thin his frame was underneath his tattered robes. Remus didn't look good. He looked as if he hadn't been sleeping or eating. Harry wondered if this was because of what he went through during the summer. He instantly felt bad for hitting him. He had acted so disrespectful to him. Remus didn't deserve this treatment, especially after what he went through. He was only trying to help and Harry had to act like a rotten, messed-up kid, a freak! No wonder Severus was keeping secrets from him, no wonder the Dursleys hated him, locked him up, ashamed to let people see he was a freak!

"I'm sorry, Remus," he whispered. "I'm sorry for hitting you, for being so messed up, for being a ..."

Remus searched Harry's face for what was troubling him. "Don't worry about that," he said.

Embarrassed, Harry looked down at his lap. He was so ashamed to look at the professor.

"Look at me, cub."

Harry slowly lifted his gaze, eyes meeting the werewolf's. He expected to see disapointment, instead Remus was only concerned. It was weird to see somone showing that type of emotion for him. It was something he never grew up with. It made him more ashamed to be acting like a freak, hurting himself and hitting Remus.

"You are not messed up, you are not a freak. Don't ever think of yourself that way. You are more than what you think of yourself. I wish you can see that."

"But I am!"

 _He doesn't understand!_

He suddenly had to tell Remus, why. Why he was such a bad kid. Why he was a freak!

"Severus is bloody pissed at me! I was so rude to him in class! He's keeping secrets from me! He tells me to not worry about Draco, but how can I not? Draco is suffering, he is in danger and he won't tell me what's going on! I'm left in the dark! I hate it! I'm not even sure if I can trust Severus anymore. I don't know what is going on with us! And it fucking hurts, Remus! He lied to me!"

He suddenly felt a hand over his own, stopping him from scratching himself again.

"Harry, Severus is doing the best he can. Right now, we are in the middle of a war, you must trust him."

"Do you trust him?" Harry asked, "he claims to be spying on our side but what if he isn't? What if he is deceiving us all?" He couldn't help but voice the words Draco had told him, the small seed of doubt had bloomed tonight after their fight in the corridor. He didn't know who to believe anymore, everything was so messed up!

"I do trust him," Remus said. "And if you can't trust him, then trust me."

Harry sniffed, trying to stop himself from crying again, he only nodded.

"Everything is going to be okay. Right now, it may seem dark and you are lost, not knowing who to trust, but everything will come clear in the end. This war cannot last and I know we will win."

Harry didn't say anything, just thinking about what Remus said.

"Harry?"

Harry looked at Remus, whose low, calm voice, sincere manner was calming him down. He couldn't help but trust him, even though every instinct inside him was telling him not too.

"Can you tell me what you were doing out in the corridor by yourself?"

Harry shook his head.

"Tell me, Harry," Remus demanded.

"I was trying to talk to Draco," he said, not telling him that he was returning from Dumbledore's office. He wasn't sure if Remus was supposed to know about the secret meetings.

"What happened?" the werewolf probed.

"Over the summer, we formed a truce. Draco was there through all the fights I had with Severus, he was there for me when no one else was, calming me down when I was trying to hurt myself. We became close. Then, he had to go back with his mother. He promised we would still be friends, no matter what. But ever since we arrived here, he's been acting like a git, like his old bully self. He warned me he would have to act like that for appearances, but something seems wrong. I don't think he's pretending."

"Why do you think he's pretending?" Remus asked.

"In Diagon Ally, he was mad at Madame Malkin for touching his arm. I know he has a task to complete for Voldemort. Something happened to him after he left us. I was trying to figure out why. I was trying to see if he was just acting the part or if he was being real on the train. He wouldn't talk to me. Before you came, we ended up arguing and he knocked me into the wall."

"This is the second time he hurts you," Remus observed.

Harry shrugged.

"This has to stop. You have to stay away from him, like I've said before, let Severus and Dumbledore handle this."

Harry sighed in frustration. Why did he even bother? But after what happened tonight between him and Draco, he knew Remus was right. All he had done was push Draco further away.

Remus leaned a little closer, thinking about what Harry revealed to him. "Have you thought about why Draco Malfoy is suddenly pushing you away?"

Harry shrugged, he had some theories. "I think he's trying to hide the fact that he's been branded the Dark Mark. I think he's given up, accepting it as his future. That's why I'm fighting so hard to help him. I know him, Remus, this isn't what he wants."

"That may be a factor," Remus agreed, his hand on his chin, leaning forward, deep in thought. "I think he might be pushing you away to protect you. From what you've told me about how close you both were, he must know how stubborn you are sometimes. He must think it's the only way to protect you is to revert to his old treatment of you. Harry, you must step back for a while. Give him space, you're not the only one watching him. That's why I keep telling you to trust us. Trust Dumbledore, trust Severus and if you can't then trust me."

"I can't, Remus, I need to do something. I can't just sit back and watch."

"That's the most essential thing you can do for us, you can track his whereabouts, see who he is hanging out with. You have the map, Harry, use it. Watch him and if there's trouble come to me right away and I will help you in any way I can."

Harry nodded, well that was better than no help at all.

"Just remember, don't spend every waking moment watching him. I don't want you to forget to live, don't forget your lessons, and if there is anything strange going on, don't do anything without telling me first."

Harry hesitated on that, but nodded anyway, "okay, I promise." He picked up his cooled hot coco and began to drink some.

"This is delicious!" he said, the warmth instantly making him feel better.

Remus smiled as he drank some of his own.

"What's up with you and Severus lately anyway?"

The smile instantly vanished as he placed his mug back on his desk. "Just a disagreement of sorts…," Remus said quietly, not giving away anything else and Harry couldn't help but notice the blush creeping on the werewolf's cheeks.

"Well, you should make things right, he's been in a bloody temper lately. Maybe if you two are on speaking terms again he'll lay off of us during lessons."

"I'll talk to him if you also do the same."

Harry groaned, "do I have too?"

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine," he said.

"Now that's settled, it's getting late. I'll walk you to your dormitory." The werewolf suddenly stood up and made his way to the door.

Harry finished his hot cocoa and followed Remus out of his office. He felt better now, the talk they had and the warm coco really lifted his mood and brought him back to his senses. He couldn't believe he scratched up his arm again, he didn't want to think about what would've happened if Remus hadn't shown up.

Not much was said as they walked through the corridors of the castle. Harry didn't mind it, it gave him a chance to go over what Remus had told him. Remus seemed to be lost in thought as well. The werewolf turned his gaze on Harry. "You know I'm obliged to tell Severus what happened tonight as he is your guardian."

"I understand," Harry muttered, his stomach clenching with dread as he thought about the lecture he was sure to get. "He's going to be mad."

"He is always grumpy about something, aren't you used to his temper by now?" Remus chuckled, causing Harry to laugh softly as well, making him feel a little better.

Once they reached the portrait of the fat lady, Remus put a hand on Harry's shoulder and turned him around.

"Can I trust you not to hurt yourself again tonight?"

Harry met his concerned gaze, feeling so bad for the way he acted, yet grateful Remus was there to help him, and for that, Harry knew he'll be okay tonight.

"Yeah, I'm fine now."

Remus pulled him into a hug. "I love you, cub. Remember, if you feel like you must hurt yourself again, come to me. I don't care if I'm busy or in the middle of a lesson, or a meeting with Dumbledore, just come to me. I will drop everything for you."

Harry didn't respond, only hugged the werewolf tighter, inhaling the scents of chocolate and the detergent smell of his tattered robes. Harry was instantly comforted. Trust washed over him immediately and whatever misgivings he had against the werewolf the past couple of weeks disappeared. He suddenly realized Remus meant a lot to him, just as a parent would, just like what he felt towards Severus. That meant so much to him, and he knew the next time he was hurting, he would definitely come to Remus.

"Goodnight, Remus, thank you for everything," he said softly, stepping away from the werewolf.

"Goodnight, cub."

And Harry stepped through the portrait door, the sounds of Remus' footsteps fading away.

 **A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews, favs and follows. I'm sorry for the long update. I'll try to get ch 5 out as soon as I can. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review your thoughts on it!!:)** **-Chase'sGirl19**


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